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Parentpedia
Playing With Others
What Experts Say
While it might seem contrary to popular playground belief, you shouldn't feel pressured to keep a social calendar for your toddler or preschooler.
"I don't think parents need to arrange playdates," says Michael Gurian, author of "Nurture the Nature," and "The Wonder of Girls" and "The Wonder of Boys."
Social opportunities can happen more organically. Children can benefit from you taking them to the park, shopping or going to the library where they can naturally learn to model you in social settings and play with children they meet....
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If you do have play dates, don't be surprised if both kids play independently of each other. In the book, "The Successful Child" by William and Martha Sears, they discuss parallel play. They say that "toddlers tend to play alongside each other (called parallel play) but seldom play cooperatively together." At this age, sharing is difficult but they are beginning to learn the rules of play. By 4, the concept of sharing and giving is starting to make more sense and kids might actually find pleasure in giving their friend a prized toy to play with. Before that age, they really don't understand it so don't push it if your child or another child is attached to a toy. Let them play with that toy and distract the other child as best as you can with something else.
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September 18, 2007
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