A Tale of Two Half-Siblings

lsteele75's story

September 17, 2007

I am currently struggling with the fallout of my elder child's separation from our family, and my younger child's struggle with this. My daughter, who is 17, was the product of my first marriage to a man who turned out to be very abusive in every respect. Long story short, I left him, filed for divorce, and eventually met someone else with whom I put down roots, and with whom I now have a 10-year-old son. My daughter, until about 5 years ago, knew of no other father than my current spouse. However, after 9/11, my daughter, who by then knew that someone else was her biological father, decided that she would like to meet him. I reluctantly agreed.
Because of the circumstances of our separation and subsequent divorce, there was no legal provision for him to have either visitation or custody. Everything we did was informal, and I made it very clear to my former spouse from the beginning that I was only willing to allow him to see our daughter so long as she had an interest in doing so.
My daughter has always had issues with her behavior, stemming back to before she even knew about her biological father. Over the years, these have worsened, but, for a variety of reasons, I have been unable to secure the help I needed to address her problems. Things came to a head at the end of this past May when she physically assaulted and battered me following an altercation resulting from her continued disobedience and disrespect towards me. I informed her at that time that she was no longer welcome in our home, and that she should make other living arrangements. Although she had local options, she moved to the nearby state where her father resides.
My son has spoken to her by phone just a handful of times since this incident. He was very upset by his sister's behavior, and his last telephone conversation left him so upset, I have forbidden further contact between them until my son's evaluation by a psychiatrist. He understands but misses her.