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Rudeness
What Experts Say
Rudeness can take many forms among school-age children -- talking back, being sarcastic, name calling, or not saying "please." Sadly, many of these behaviors are handed down from parents to children.
Not only do children need to be taught the courteous way to speak to other people, but they also need to have it "modeled" for them, reminds Jerry Wyckoff, Ph.D., a family therapist and professor of family life and human development.
This means speaking to your children the way you want them to speak to you, as well as letting them hear you talk to other people with respect. Thank a waiter for refilling your water glass; be courteous to people ahead of...
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Cutting rudeness off at the knees.
I heard somewhere that you teach people how to treat you. So if you let your kids treat our like their own personal doormat, you're saying, "Go on. Be rude to me." And the older they get, the harder it is to take away their doormat.
Here are three tips for thwarting your kids' rudeness:
Be shocked. Just because you've heard their friends treat their parents rudely, doesn't mean you shouldn't be shocked when they do it to you. Show them it isn't how you expect to be treated, and it won't become part of their language.
Just say no. Everytime they treat you rudely, tell them you won't accept it. Make them apologize and change their behavior. If they don't, take something away that means something to them, such as computer access or a night out with a friend.
Monkey see... don't be a monkey. Kids do what they see. And if you're rude to other people, they'll learn it from you. Don't assume that you get carte blanche to behave rudely because you're a grown-up. You don't. And your kids don't either.
Jen Singer, Disney Parenting Team Advisor
Creator, MommaSaid.net
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March 27, 2008
The Step Child Interferes
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