Parentpedia

What Experts Say

The 16th birthday, memorialized in pop songs for the past 50 years, has become quite the event in some families and communities. In the absence of religious services or other cultural coming-of-age rituals, it's become a chance for a teen to mark the passage into the young adult world.

For many teens it's also the chance to plan their first grown-up style event, complete with food, music, and sometimes even a public location and live band. In this way, a Sweet Sixteen party can provide a great opportunity to let your teen take some responsibility for planning and carrying through with plans, says Susan Beacham, financial literacy expert and CEO and co-founder of Money Savvy Generation, a nonprofit that makes products to teach kids personal finance.

But it can also become a battlefield over budgets and expectations. To help it be the mother-child bonding ritual you'd like it to be, set a budget and have your teen take charge of how the money is spent. If, as often happens, your teen wants a more extravagant shindig than you had planned on, suggest that she kick in her own money.

"A child will much more readily spend your money than their own," Beacham says. "It's remarkable how budget conscious teens become as soon as they're spending out of their own pocket."

To help her prioritize, ask her, "What are you trying to accomplish? What's most important to you?" You can use this conversation to help keep her choices in line with her answers (and your budget!).