Stay close to your kids in preparing for prom

maryaliceo's story

July 29, 2007

Prom for my older son and and then my step daughter was traumatic. Neither had dated much in high school and both wanted to go to prom with a date. My son had a girlfriend by the time prom rolled around, but my step daughter ended up going to prom with a guy friend whom she hoped might become a boyfriend.
My son really wanted to impress his new girlfriend, and I felt so fortunate that he asked me to help him prepare. Over the course of a week, we planned what would happen on the day of the prom. We put together a special surpise to happen every hour leading up to prom. We concluded the pre-prom activities with the delivery of 12 dozen roses in all colors that he and and I had bought from a wholesale florist and arranged together. My son learned that his mother had more talents than he had thought as well as sound dating advice. He still had anxiety on the evening of the prom because he is shy and not a partier, but his girlfriend was so appreciative and prom was a postive and memorable experience.
My step daughter wanted to have four of her friends over to our house to get ready for prom. My husband and I had to work this through with his ex-wife, and she even came to our house when the girls were ready to leave. My step daughter and I collected make-up samples donated by local department store make-up counters, and we put them into Chinese food cartons. We bought snacks and had a make-up and dressing party. A couple of the other mothers helped, and all of the parents gathered to see the girls off to the prom. During the process of putting the make-up party together, my step daughter and I had a chance to talk about guys and dating. I was able to lower her expectations for the prom and this young man.
It is important to stay close to your kids during the traumatic period of prom, to help them prepare in a fun way that lowers anxiety, and to talk to them all the way through in creating realistic expectations.