Parentpedia

What Experts Say

Constantly bombarded with messages about how hard it is to get into top colleges, parents can't be blamed for feeling that their teens need to do well on tests such as the PSAT and SAT, which are required for admission to most colleges.

And, if you're stressed, imagine how your teen feels! That's why you need to be careful about what messages you're sending, because too much pressure can backfire and either discourage your teen or make him rebel.

"You want to give teens the information they need to feel confident without making them feel pressured," says Debra Beck, a teen mentor and founder of Spirited Youth and author of "My Feet Aren't Ugly!: A Girl's Guide to Loving Herself from the Inside Out."

Discuss what your teen's goals are, and together evaluate how important good test scores will be in achieving that goal. If your child's high school offers test prep courses, suggest that your child sign up for them; if not, you might offer to pay for a tutor or private preparation course. But once you've offered, don't push.

"Talk it over, point out the options, and then back off and let them make the decision," says Beck. "Ultimately, if they bomb out, it's their choice and they can't blame anyone else."

If your teen suffers from anxiety, it's a good idea to have him take the test as early as possible; that way he can retake it if it doesn't go well and get a second chance.