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Parentpedia
Talking to Boys About Sex
What Experts Say
Talking about sex with your son may make you feel uncomfortable, but it's a necessity. In fact, you'll want to start the conversation when he's as young as 8 or 9 years old (be sure to tailor your discussion to his maturity level.) Think of it as a way to inform him before he picks up incorrect information from his peers.
If you do feel uncomfortable, you can communicate that discomfort openly with your son, saying something like, "Talking about sex together might feel awkward, but it's important for us to find ways to talk about important topics like this."
Your conversation should address the physical and emotional dimensions of sex. The first concerns the practical aspects of sex, such as the parts of the body and birth control, while the second involves the intimacy aspect of sex and relationships, such as trust, love, and responsibility.
You might also want to include how the media address dating and sex in order to help counter images of moving quickly from a first date to sex. You should reiterate the importance of treating girls with respect. This should occur in all interactions but is particularly important in sexual relationships.
Talk to him about not "pressuring" someone to have sex and to make sure to listen when someone tells him "no" or "stop" or "wait." You might also address the pressure your son may feel to brag about an experience he's had with a girl, and how that could be damaging to her.
Whatever comes up, remember that the conversation should be two-sided: You should listen to what your son has to say.
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