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Dealing with peer pressure is a rite of passage for pre-teens and teens. You'll likely become aware of it when suddenly the only opinions that seem to matter to your child are those of her peers -- not of her teachers, or you (her parent), or even herself!

It's important to remember that peer pressure can be a good thing, depending on who she's hanging out with. It can influence her to participate in extracurricular activities, apply to college, or try new things. But as you're probably aware, peer pressure can also influence her to engage in negative or dangerous behaviors and activities.

First, help your child consider what kind of person she wants to be and what she wants for herself. With this idea in mind, you can ask her how sex, drinking, or drugs might affect these goals. Make sure she has a realistic understanding of the consequences of having sex, drinking and driving, and using drugs.

Second, it's important that you clearly communicate your expectations of her and let her know how you'd like her to react when faced with a potentially dangerous situation. You can offer her an "out" in these circumstances, such as blaming you for not being able to go to a party where no parents will be home, or telling her friends that you'll wait up to make sure she wasn't drinking or using drugs.

You might also remind her of the consequences of engaging in such behaviors, such as losing her driving privileges or having an earlier curfew. Likewise, you can offer her benefits for earning your trust, such as a later curfew or unrestricted computer access.