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Parentpedia
Need for Independence
What Experts Say
Every year of your child's life, new questions arise: Should you let her walk to the park alone? Can he be trusted with a cell phone? When is an older sibling responsible enough to babysit your younger child?
For most of these questions -- especially the ones that pop up on the spur of the moment -- you're going to have to trust your instincts. After all, no one knows your child as well as you do. However, there are some basic rules of thumb that can make these decisions easier.
According to Ariel Gore, author of the "Hip Mama" parenting books and newsletters, independence questions are closely tied to trust. Let your child know that you trust him -- and that you expect him to live up to that trust. Then, take steps to make sure he's safe. Set clear rules about how often he has to check in, how long he can stay away, and where he's allowed to go.
If there's a safety question involved, ask yourself what you can do to prevent any negative consequences. For example, you might ride a particular bike route with your child before allowing her to ride alone.
The most important lesson you can teach your child is that independence can and should be earned. If he thinks he's responsible enough to spend an afternoon at the mall with friends, great -- let him demonstrate that responsibility by mowing the lawn on Saturday.
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The contents of ParentPedia are intended for educational purposes only. Such contents are not intended to, and do not, constitute medical or healthcare advice or diagnosis, and may not be used for such purposes. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Reliance on information presented on ParentPedia is at your own risk.
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