I spanked my child for the last time

undomesticatedmom's story

June 22, 2008

I have a 3 1/2 yr old son and he has recently learned to push buttons. He had gotten into my desk and got out a perm. marker and colored all over a rocking chair I had since I was a child. I was devastated when I found his art work. When I explained that this rocking chair was special to mommy and this made me very sad, my son only smiled. I asked him if he was sorry, he said no. I was so angry (minor detail, my 6 month old was sick the night before and I had no sleep and she has been crying all day-so my judgement was questionable), I pulled down his pj's and spanked his bare bottom. It was the first time I had ever struck my child and the last. My child's cry out from the pain was devastating! I have always said I will not resort to spanking/whipping-especially in the heat of the moment. I told him to go to his room and I waited until I had my thoughts and emotions in control. I found my son laying in bed crying silently saying "I miss daddy" over and over (my husband was at work.) Again my heart sank. I went to him and asked him for a hug, I apologized and told him it was wrong for mommy to hit him and reminded him that the rule "no hitting" also applies to mommy and daddy. We talked a long time and I did explain that what he did was wrong and I told him the next time he colors on anything other than paper his time out will be 6 minutes instead of 3.

In hind sight the spanking took away what he did wrong, but focused on what I did wrong. I know he is not going to remember what he did to get the spanking, but sadly he will most likely remember the spanking...and hopefully my regret and apology. So, no, spankings do not work, because like I said, he is not going to remember the action was wrong just that his mommy hurt him.