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Parentpedia
Playdate Politeness
What Experts Say
By her third birthday, your child's social realm will have greatly expanded. Preschoolers still often have trouble sharing, listening, and acknowledging another child's desires, but with some gentle parental guidance, your child will learn to enjoy playing with a companion, says child development expert Maureen O'Brien, Ph.D.
Preschool playdates should still be supervised to avoid miscommunications. Penelope Leach, author of "Your Baby and Child," recommends keeping yourself moderately busy within the children's vicinity -- close enough to smooth out trouble spots but not hovering.
Children at this age are now old enough to understand the idea of...
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My girlfriends and I take turns each Wednesday hosting playdates for our toddlers/preschoolers. There are three of us moms and six children ranging in ages 3months to 3 years. We've kind of made it an unwritten rule that the mom who hosts that day will be left with a less than perfect house. Of course we help the children clean up the majority of the toys, etc., but the hosting mom is always left with a sinkful of dishes, a countertop full of clutter, and a carpet that's in need of a good vaccuming, and we're all ok with that. It's just too much to do it all when we're trying to get the kids packed up and out of the host's house. The fact that we've set this rule has made our guilt disappear because we all know we'll get our turn to clean and our turn to skate out as well!
Sibylla: Sharing can be an issue sometimes during play dates, especially when both children are only children. To avoid skirmishes, I'll put away the really special toy, plate or item that I do not have two of and that way it does not become an issue. For everything else, I always try and instill in my daughter beforehand the taking of turns and treating her friends like she would want to be treated when she goes to their house. I try not to interfere all the time when they disagree because kids have to learn how to solve conflict on their own and learn the art of compromise. Sometimes it works, sometimes I'm breaking up a shoving match.
Sibylla: Sharing can be an issue sometimes during play dates, especially when both children are only children. To avoid skirmishes, I'll put away the really special toy, plate or item that I do not have two of and that way it does not become an issue. For everything else, I always try and instill in my daughter beforehand the taking of turns and treating her friends like she would want to be treated when she goes to their house. I try not to interfere all the time when they disagree because kids have to learn how to solve conflict on their own and learn the art of compromise. Sometimes it works, sometimes I'm breaking up a shoving match.
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