Parentpedia

Blankies and Stuffed Animal Friends

If your child has an attachment object that is an omnipresent companion, you can start laying the groundwork months, even years, in advance of D-Day, which is usually kindergarten, but sometimes even Preschool where tagalong comfort objects are not allowed.

While some pre-schools and even some daycares may have a strict policy about attachment objects, kindergartens almost universally prohibit brought-from-home stuff.

Begin by reducing access to the attachment object in little ways along the way, you can get them used to the idea that teddy or blankie will ALWAYS accompany them.

At daycare, maybe ask the teacher to help keep the stuffed froggy in the cubby and only bring him out for nap.

For short trips out, ask your child to leave the blankie in the car -- just for a minute while we run into the grocery store -- and reassure her that she'll have blankie when she returns.

All the while, you can be doing the soft-sell on how "big kids" who go to Kindergarten don't carry their blankies or bun-buns with them when they're at school.

Phasing Out Pacifiers

The gradual, or "soft-sell" approach which diminishes the situations where a child relies on a blankie or other comfort item can also be effective for phasing out pacifier use.

Over the course of several days, weeks--or even months, whatever pace at which your child responds--each time she gets a pacifier, remind her that a pacifier is "only for [sleeping, driving, when you're on the plane, on a long trip, etc.]" 

Then introduce the whole "big kid" thing, preparing the child for the idea that as she gets a little bigger, soon pacifiers will "only be for sleeping and flying" or "nighttime and grandma's house" or whatever. 

If reinforced gently, consistently, and without battling, it can be a relatively painless way for a child to outgrow pacifiers on her own.

Giving Pacifiers Away

The trees and fences around the kitten yard of Stockholm's Skansen zoo are festooned with garlands made of tens of thousands of old pacifiers. Since the mid-1970's, Swedish children have looked forward to the day they, too, would be old enough to bring their pacifiers to the kittens. Even if you don't make it to Sweden, the idea of giving away a pacifier to someone who needs it more can help a child feel grown up. 

If cats aren't available, try enlisting an infant cousin in another city, or a friend's younger child; even a baby whose birthday photo or holiday card is on the fridge, can become a worthy recipient. [Depending on the likelihood and frequency of your child actually meeting this other kid or his parent, you may need to tip them off to your plan, if not actually send them the used pacifier.]

Get your child excited for the gift-giving and gift-wrapping process, all the while reminding him that he's giving his pacifier away because he's bigger now, and doesn't need it anymore. By providing him a younger point of reference, he can more easily associate the pacifier with a phase of babyhood he's outgrown.