Parentpedia

What Experts Say

Baby showers give your friends, family, and co-workers the opportunity to be a part of your good news. In other words, don't balk at letting someone throw you a party. As Kimberly Danger, author of 1000 Best Baby Bargains says, the people who care about you want the chance to make a fuss about your bringing a brand-new person into the world.

Baby Shower Basics

Who should throw the shower? Old-fashioned etiquette says anyone but a close relative. This is because the mom-to-be wanted to avoid giving the impression that her sister was out there soliciting gifts. Nowadays most people don't mind if your mom or sister is the one sending out the invites, but if you're a stickler for appearances, see if you you've got a friend willing to organize it.

When should we have the shower? Usually the baby shower is held during the mom-to-be's third trimester but not too close to her due date when she's feeling less comfortable.

Is it OK to have more than one shower? If you run in different circles, say work friends and friend-friends, then sure, it's fine. Or you can invite everyone to one big blowout. That's up to you -- and to the person kind enough to host.

Do we need to have games? Not unless you want them. While games (like the one where guests guess how many squares of toilet paper it takes to wrap around your pregnant waist) might be a great ice breaker, not everyone adores them. Talk to your hostess to see what she's planning and make sure you're on the same page.

Can men come to a baby shower? Traditionally baby showers were a women-only affair, but modern showers can include dads-to-be, too.

Is it OK to have a baby shower for second, third, etc. babies? It depends. Most people don't have showers for subsequent children unless there's been a large gap between pregnancies, but they may still have a party to celebrate the new baby's imminent arrival. Some alternatives include:

• "Baby sprinkles," a small party that includes gifts. (Get it? Lighter than a shower?)
• "Blessing ways," which are focused more on getting ready for labor and delivery
• A casserole shower. You may already have a high chair, stroller, and stacks of burp clothes, but every new family needs help with dinner when the baby comes home.