Parentpedia

What Experts Say

While some women have little trouble slipping into the new role of pregnant-lady-who-will-soon-be-a-giver-of-life, others find they are conflicted about their new identity and not so sure who they are anymore.

If you are used to being energetic and you suddenly find yourself fatigued and nauseous and unable to accomplish as much as you used to, slowing down and embracing your new identity can be challenging. If your pregnancy symptoms are relatively mild and you've been looking forward to having a baby all your life, it may be easier to accept your new role.

As your baby gestates, you will find yourself becoming more comfortable with both the idea of being pregnant and of becoming a mother. To enhance your sense of identity, consider:

Joining a prenatal group: Whether it's prenatal water aerobics, prenatal yoga class, or childbirth class, being with other pregnant women will help give you a sense of identity.

Reading books about pregnancy: How-to books are helpful and bountiful but reading other women's first-person accounts of pregnancy and motherhood may be even more useful. Good choices include:

• Anne Lamott's classic "Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son's First Year"
• Martha Brockenbrough's "It Could Happen to You: Diary of a Pregnancy and Beyond"
• "It's a Girl: Women Writers on Raising Daughters"
• "It's a Boy: Women Writers on Raising Sons"

Finding a mentor: Talking to a friend who has weathered a pregnancy (or two or three), especially an honest friend who wants to hear how you are really feeling, can be a great way to get support, advice, and a stronger sense of your new identity.