Parentpedia

What Experts Say

Pregnancy is often a time of great joy ... and great fear. You worry about the baby, you worry about your life changing, you worry about the little boy who got into a car crash on your favorite TV show, you worry about worrying. Part of this fearfulness can be blamed on pregnancy hormones, part of it is a rational response to an overwhelming life change that is just as dramatic as adolescence.

What can you do to manage these fears? There is no formula that will take the worry away, says psychologist Harriet Lerner, author of "The Dance of Fear," but there are several steps you can take to make it feel less overwhelming.

Indulge It

Know that this is a stressful time and forgive yourself for being fearful. Write down every single worry you have in a journal or in a series of long letters (to yourself, to your baby, to your mother). Many pregnant women find the act of journaling to be comforting. By putting your fears on paper, you're getting them out of your head.

Find Support

It's really important to have support, especially if you are having a difficult pregnancy. Ask your health care provider about pregnancy support and new mother groups (new moms are often delighted to welcome pregnant women) or start one yourself.

Other support can come from your spouse, your relatives, experienced moms, and health care providers. If you are overwhelmed by worries or just need more support, find a psychologist who specializes in working with pregnant women.

Get Information

According to Robert Sapolsky, a Stanford University neuroscientist and author of "Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers: An Updated Guide To Stress, Stress Related Diseases, and Coping," loss of control and lack of predictability are two main factors in stress. The more you know about your pregnancy -- through reading books, talking to health care professionals, and asking more experienced moms -- the more predictable it will be and the less fearful you will feel.