Parentpedia

What Experts Say

Ask anyone who's been through it -- the adoption wait is interminable. And because so much of it is unpredictable and so much depends on factors outside your control, it can be unbelievably frustrating. Will your papers ever get pushed through? Will anyone ever choose your profile?

So the question then becomes, "What can you do to keep your sanity while you wait for the call that you're really going to be a parent?" The answer? "Anything that works!"

"Try not to put your life on hold during the waiting period," says Micky Duxbury, author of Making Room in Our Hearts. "Go on vacations, get away for weekends, keep up your exercise. Adoption can be a part-time job and you need reasonable working hours. Talk with a partner or friend once a week about how things are going and what needs to be done, but don't let it take over your life."

Get-Ready Ideas

If you know it will be taking over your life despite your best efforts, let your obsession work for you. Start freezing casseroles for those busy first weeks. Go grab paint samples for the room you'll be turning into your child's bedroom. Or start learning how to scrapbook in preparation for the gorgeous memory books you're hoping to make when your child comes home. (Whether you'll have time to make them is another story, of course.)

If you haven't found your adoption support group yet, now is the time to get out there and connect with people who know what you're going through. There are tons of email lists and message boards to peruse or you can ask your agency for local referrals.

The important thing to remember is to hang in there. You'll get your happy ending (and new beginning) eventually.