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As Joyce Maguire Pavao points out in The Family of Adoption, no one else knows your child as well as you do. How you talk to your child about adoption depends on your sense of who your child is and what he or she needs to hear. But one thing is certain -- the days of "protecting" kids by keeping their adoption histories is long over. No reputable adoption professional would tell any parent to lie to their children about being adopted. So the real question is how to make adoption an easier subject for your family?

Before you can get comfortable talking to your child about adoption, you need to be comfortable talking about it, period. Practice talking about adoption before your child is even old enough to understand what the word "adopted" means. That will give you...

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