Parentpedia

What Experts Say

How can you ever really know that you're ready for something that's going to rock your world as much as becoming a parent? Truth is, you can't. But being nervous is normal and actually is a sign that you're taking this whole parenting gig seriously -- you're being a good parent before the kid even arrives!

The parenting challenges for adopted children are mostly the same as with biological children. There are, however, some occasional -- and important -- differences.

On the one hand, parenting is parenting. Whether or not your child is adopted doesn't have any impact on Little League, scraped knees, college funds, or first dates. But adoption itself is a different kind of adventure. The process of adoption is effortful and forces hopeful parents to confront their dreams again and again as they work their way through the home study, through the home visits, and through the matching process while they wait for their child.

On the other hand, kids who are adopted have some extra stuff to deal with. Helping our kids understand and integrate their adoption stories is an additional part of raising them.

Sometimes when you're at the front of the adoption process and looking ahead it feels overwhelming. Micky Duxbury, author of Making Room in Our Hearts and an adoptive mother, understands.

"It is normal to have a wide range of feelings, especially during the waiting period: anxiety, feelings of vulnerability, and irritation or anger, just to name a few," she says. "The best thing is to find a support group. Talk with a partner or friend once a week about how things are going and what needs to be done, but don't let it take over your life."