Parentpedia

What Experts Say

Before a baby is even born, he has the ability to self-comfort -- the images of babies thumb sucking in utero prove it. While self-comforting may be an innate skill, how well your baby is able to do so depends a lot on her temperament, says Marsha Gerdes, Ph.D., co-director of the neonatal follow-up program at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia.

One of the best ways to teach your child about self-comfort is through routine, says Gerdes. A great place to establish a routine is at bedtime. Taking a warm bath, and reading a book together in the same chair every night will make your baby feel reassured. She can then draw on these positive feelings to help her transition to sleep time.

Movement, touch, and voice are also powerful tools that put your baby in the state of mind so that she can soothe herself, says Gerdes.

At naptime and bedtime, start out by holding, rocking, and talking quietly to your baby. Then, place her down in her bassinet or crib, and continue to gently talk to her while you rub her tummy or legs; finally, use your voice only, and talk to her briefly, telling her that you love her and that it's time to go night-night. Then walk away. Your baby won't be asleep, but instead of protesting about being left alone in a crib, she'll be the right state of mind for soothing herself.

Of course, you can't overlook the power of offering a favorite blanket or stuffed animal so that your fussy baby can comfort herself. Since neither are recommended in cribs of infants under 1 year, save blankets and stuffed animals for stroller rides or playtime.

The self-soothing technique that some children may adopt on their own can include thumb-sucking or hair-twirling. Most people consider these socially acceptable behaviors.

"However, other babies might bang their heads or move them back and forth repeatedly as a way to comfort themselves when they're tired or frustrated," explains Gerdes.

While this might seem odd, these behaviors are actually considered normal when done within this context. But if they also take the place of play or social interactions, definitely discuss it with your pediatrician to rule out a behavioral disorder.