Parentpedia

What Experts Say

A nanny is more than a caregiver. In the words of William and Martha Sears in "The Baby Book," a nanny is a "substitute parent." That said, you'll want to find a nanny with similar childcare values and methods as you; this will ensure that your child has a consistent childcare experience.

When choosing a nanny, whether you go through an agency or use your own contacts, the interview is vital. In his book "Touchpoints: Your Child's Emotional and Behavioral Development," Dr. T. Berry Brazelton recommends being especially sensitive to these two areas during your interview:

• The nanny's attitude toward childcare in general and your baby specifically. You'll want to see how consistent she is in her childcare behavior, what kind of emotional investment she has, and whether she will be able to respect your child's individuality.
• The nanny's ability to respect and nurture you. Though her first and most important priority is your child, she should also be willing to have a positive relationship with you as an involved parent.

Once you've settled on a nanny, you'll want to make sure she's as good as she seems. Always check her references and run a background check. Most online nanny agencies offer background checks as a service. You can get started at 4nannies.com and enannysource.com.

After the initial background and reference checks, pay attention to how your child behaves with the nanny and ask your child how he feels about her. The National Center on Missing and Exploited Children suggests that you talk to your child about his time with the nanny, especially any games or activities they played. Explore any events that might make your child feel scared, uncomfortable, or confused.

As an added protective measure, some parents invest in a nanny cam. It's legal in all 50 states to use a hidden camera, but not every state allows you to secretly record speech, so check your state's laws before doing so. However, consider whether you want to tell your nanny that she's being recorded. If she finds out on her own, she might feel that it's an irreparable breach in trust.

Finally, always hire your nanny on a trial basis. It will give you a chance to observe her with your child and to make sure that she's providing a positive, nurturing environment when you can't be there.