Parentpedia

What Experts Say

They've been living in the dark for the past nine months -- waking up when you're lying down and sleeping when you're up during the day -- so it takes newborns awhile to learn the difference between night and day and to establish a pattern of eating and sleeping. The first few weeks after birth they're pretty discombobulated!

Even if you've decided that you're the kind of parent who will have a strict (or not so strict) routine with your child, you should wait until she's at least 8 weeks old to start implementing it. When she's tiny, your child needs to know that her needs will be responded to. She needs time to set her biological clock, gain some weight, and be in the world before the routine starts.

Popular parenting guru Gina Ford argues that babies benefit from being put on a routine that follows their natural body rhythms. Ford believes that babies are happier when they're following a regular schedule of feedings and naps.

Attachment parenting advocate Dr. William Sears argues that healthy bonds between parents and children are established not by hard and fast routines but by parents responding in a timely, loving way to their child?s needs whenever those needs are expressed.

How to Establish a Routine

• Don't try to establish a routine until your baby is at least 2 months old. After that, start a journal where you record when she sleeps, eats, has quiet but alert time, and when she is most likely to fuss (you can track her bowel movements too, if you like).
• Look for patterns in her behavior and formulate a routine based upon the patterns. If your baby?s nursing every hour and a half and you'd like her to eat every three hours, begin by holding off feedings for 15 minutes the first day, 20 the next, and so on.
• Help your baby take regular naps for longer amounts of time by noticing when she's sleepy and putting her to nap in a dark room with minimal noise. Do the same brief ritual (a board book, a song, rocking on the rocking chair) before every nap and at bedtime.

Safety Note

Do not set up a routine convenient for you but unrealistic for your baby. Because their stomachs are small and they're growing exponentially, most infants need to eat at least every three hours. Forcing your infant to wait four hours to nurse could negatively impact her health.