Parentpedia

What Experts Say

Most people think about what it means to have a baby before it's born, but not everyone considers exactly how they'll parent their child until after he comes into the world.

You might think you "won't make the same mistakes" as your parents (famous last words), but you don't know what style you'll choose. It's hard to predict the decisions you'll make once your baby's born. The most important part of choosing your parenting style is to trust your own instincts, no matter what any one else says!

In the 1960s, University of California research psychologist Diana Baumrind developed a classification of parenting styles that many developmental psychologists use today: authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and uninvolved.

More recently, Dr. William Sears has become a spokesperson for attachment parenting, which some see as the 1990s reinterpretation of permissive parenting. Baumrind's styles have been studied by clinical psychologists, who have found that children of authoritative parents have the most positive outcomes; children of uninvolved parents tend to have the worst.

Authoritative Parenting

Authoritative (or "democratic") parents know that they're the boss but allow their children as much freedom as possible to explore who they are and to make their own mistakes. They clearly communicate their expectations to their children, while letting them make their own choices.

Authoritarian Parenting

Authoritarian parents are in charge of their children and force them to obey rules without question. There is a clear demarcation between the child and the parent, and there is little give-and-take in the relationship. A child is expected to behave well and obey.

Permissive Parenting

Permissive parents are not in clear charge of their children. They let their children lead, give in to their children's demands without question, and accept their children's behavior whether it is good or bad. They tend to feel powerless as parents and have trouble setting boundaries.

Uninvolved/Neglectful Parenting

Uninvolved or neglectful parents pay little or no attention to their children and remain cold and passive in regards to them. In Baumrind's research, children of uninvolved or neglectful parents often have the most behavior problems.

Attachment Parenting

Parents adjust their expectations of their child based on his needs and stage of development. This is meant to create a healthier relationship between the child and parent, so that the parent can avoid feeling frustration because he or she expects something the child isn't capable of.