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Bonding -- which means forming a strong psychological and emotional attachment to your baby -- is different for every parent. Some women immediately feel bonded to their newborns. They count their baby's tiny fingers and toes and fall in love. One new mom explained that holding her baby for the first time was "like realizing someone was missing for my entire life, and here he was." But other moms, especially those who have had difficult labors, find that the connection to their new Mini-Me is not instantaneous and easy. Bonding for them is a process that takes several weeks, or even months.
Some of the experts who have written at length about baby bonding are Dr. William Sears, Penelope Leach, and Dr. Michael Odent. All three agree that in order for children to develop secure attachments and become...
If that magical moment doesn't happen in the first seconds after your infant passes through your womb, don't get worried. Although many moms' brag that they felt love the instant they saw their child, it is also very common -- although not discussed as often -- that a mother may not have any gushing feelings when they first hold their baby. Don't forget, you just pushed out an 8-pound human; pain, fear, and exhaustion are feelings more likely to be associated in those first few moments. This is not to make light of the importance of bonding, but as a new mom you should never feel guilty about your thoughts you have those first few moments after delivery. Besides, there is plenty of guilt you will feel about everything else later so pace yourself.
When my son was born, I could not imagine putting him in a stroller, or even in his own bed in a different room. Its all part of my Attachment Parenting philosophy... Physical contact...As much and as often as I can! For the first month,... read more
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July 18, 2007
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