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Whether you've nursed your little one for three months or three years, there comes a time when one of you is ready for the breastfeeding relationship to end. Find out how to keep both you and your little one comfortable and happy while making this important transition.

Tips to Help Your Baby Wean

There is no perfect time for weaning.
Weaning actually begins, naturally and gradually, when you begin offering complementary foods or drinks. Some moms are comfortable nursing their little ones until they wean on their own and other moms plan to wean at a predetermined time. (Of course, even the best-laid plans can change.)

The perfect time to wean is when it's right for you and your baby. And, if your decision doesn't fit in with what your mother or your best friend thinks, or even what you thought before giving birth, that's okay!

Do it gradually.
It's best for both you and your baby if you take your time weaning, cutting out one feed every several days or longer. Your breasts should not get overly full, and your little one has a chance to adjust.

Drop the "least important" daytime feeds first.
These are usually the easiest for your baby to let go. Be prepared to substitute another activity, like reading together or taking a walk, and perhaps a healthy snack or drink. If your baby is less than 1 year old you will need to substitute formula for the feeds missed.

Don't offer and don't refuse.
This time-tested method works especially well with nursing toddlers. Basically, you are following your baby's lead. You might actually be surprised by how many times you are ready to put your little one to your breast for comfort, even when she doesn't ask, because it comforts both of you so well.

Keep your baby busy.
Toddlers sometimes nurse out of boredom. It can be a tough time for both of you as you make these changes, and a little love goes a long way. Get down on the floor and play together, carry your little one in a sling or other baby carrier, take walks, go to story-time at a local bookstore or library, or schedule a few playdates.

This special one-on-one time will help replace those close, cuddly feeds. Both you and your baby need to maintain the intimacy that you've shared through breastfeeding. Giving up nursing doesn't mean sacrificing closeness.

Wear clothing that makes nursing difficult.
This is not the time to walk around the house without your shirt or take a bath together, like you may have done in the early days of breastfeeding. Generally, when an older baby sees your breasts, she will want to nurse. You want to make access to your breasts a bit more challenging.

You can always slow down.
If you feel like things are moving too quickly for your little one, you can slow things down, adding back a feed, or you can simply stay right where you are for a while before cutting out any more feeds.

Breast Comfort Measures

If your breasts feel uncomfortably full, express just enough milk for comfort.
You may feel more comfortable expressing as little as a few drops. Expressing this small amount of milk will not further increase your milk supply and will help prevent a plugged duct or a case of mastitis.

Wear a comfortable, supportive bra.
Your breasts will probably be a bit fuller than usual as you make changes in your nursing pattern, so be sure your breasts are well supported in a nonbinding bra.

Though you rarely hear the advice to bind your breasts these days, sometimes it still does pop up. Don't do it! This outdated practice can lead to development of a breast infection.

Get a little help right from your refrigerator.
If your milk supply still seems out of sync with your new feeding patterns, you can help slightly reduce your milk supply by tucking chilled cabbage leaves inside your bra. They easily conform to your breasts shape and can help you stay more comfortable as you wean. Change the leaves when they wilt.

A reduction in your milk supply can happen pretty quickly. See how you feel for a day or so after using the cabbage leave so you don't reduce your supply below your baby's current needs.

Safety Notes

• If your baby is less than 1 year old and refusing to nurse, think nursing strike and not weaning. Babies who are ready to wean are happy babies, while babies in the midst of a nursing strike are notoriously miserable. You can get help from a board-certified lactation consultant (IBCLC) or a local La Leche League leader.
• Abrupt weaning can be painful and may lead to a breast infection as well as sudden hormonal changes, which can affect your mood. If you have weaned abruptly, follow the breast-comfort measures above and restrict the amount of salt in your diet for several days to reduce swelling. It is not necessary to reduce your fluid intake.
• The benefits of breastfeeding continue as long as you continue to nurse. The American Academy of Pediatrics advises continuing to breastfeed "for at least 12 months, and thereafter for as long as mutually desired," while the World Health Organization recommends "continued breastfeeding up to 2 years of age or beyond."

• As you decrease your baby's feeds make sure she gets the nutrition she needs from other sources. Discuss these changes with your baby's pediatrician.

• As you are making changes, watch your baby for signs of stress, such as:
  • increased crying and frustration
  • more thumb sucking or pacifier use
  • an increase in separation anxiety
• You might feel like you have to wean in this circumstances, but it is not necessary:
  • if you have mastitis -- it can even be dangerous, leading to development of a breast abscess
  • if you're breastfeeding during a healthy, uncomplicated pregnancy without a history of preterm labor or fetal death
  • when taking most over-the-counter and prescribed drugs
  • for most medical procedures
  • if you or your baby are sick or hospitalized