Tweens

seriously i'm at mywitts end wit my 11 year old son verbally attacks me and my 3 other children has started to become violent throwing things around my home and smashing up his and his sisters bedroom,, i am a single mom ov four and i'm actually struggling to cope..his dad has not been on the scene for the past 10 years,,,please can anyone give me a little advice on how to handle this situation as i feel like i'm living on a battlefield and it brakes my heart to argue with my son so much....

I am truly tired of being the referee between my husband and my daughter. My daughter comes to me and tells me she doesn't like what her father is telling her to do, and (sometimes) I agree with him, especially when she is direspectful verbally, as well as her body language. Then sometimes i (personally) don't agree with my husband, he then throws his hands up in the air, and says, 'fine, do what you want then'. What do I do. My daughter doesn't feel like she's being listened to, and my husband doen't feel like he's being supported. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.