Samantha Kology knows that reality all too well. When her parents dropped her off at Shippensburg University for her freshman year, she was unprepared for the shock of not having someone else set limits for her.
"The freedom of college was way too much for me," she recalls. "I went a little crazy. The minute they dropped me off I thought, 'Man, this is going to be great,' but then it really does get the best of you if you are not careful," she says.
6. Balancing social pressures with academic demands
The social temptations of college life often collide
with academic demands. According to past YFCY studies, almost
half of respondents felt that their social life interfered with
their schoolwork.
Kology fought hard not to let social pressures influence her during her first year. She says, "I made it a point not to let the party scene evade my study habits and my first semester I did really well." But then, when the second semester hit, she didn't show as much restraint. "I didn't always put school work first as it should have been and I went a little nuts with the partying. I didn't do as well as I wanted to academically," she says.
What parents can do to make the transition to college
easier
1. Listen to their concerns - Talk with your
son/daughter and ask them how they are feeling. Just talking
about how they feel about going away to school can ease the
stress and anxiety associated with making the transition to
college.
In her welcoming address to college students and their parents, Diane K. Swartz, vice president of student affairs and dean of students at Western Michigan University, advises parents to keep lines of communication open.
"As students enter into adulthood, it's important for parents to begin acting as coaches and advisors, helping their sons and daughters make good decisions without telling them what to do," she says.
2. Teach life skills - Take time to teach your son or daughter the things they need to know to successfully live on their own like doing laundry, cooking and living on a budget. Address those things that can be taken care of or minimized.
Petkas calls that "translating worry into constructive action." Allen felt pretty prepared to live away from her parents. "My mom taught me how to balance a checkbook, I already knew how to study, and I didn't have to worry about cooking because I ate in the cafeteria," she recalls.
3. Encourage your son/daughter to enroll in a "college survival" seminar - According to a study conducted by The National Resource Center for The First-Year Experience and Students in Transition, 73.9 percent of institutions who responded to their annual survey reported that they offer a special course for first year students. Such "college survival" seminars offer a blend of topics essential for student success including study skills, time management, personal development and self-awareness, career exploration, and transition to college.
4. Talk about financial issues - Paying for college and associated expenses may be a worry for your son or daughter, even if they never mention it. Teach them how to set up a budget to manage expenses without going into debt.
"Credit card companies are going after college students because they want to get their business at a time when students need money," Swartz says. "Some college students are charging large sums of money to pay college expenses. Sometimes they even charge the balance of tuition that their student loans won't cover," Swartz says.
5. Be willing to cut the cord - Allow your son or daughter an appropriate level of independence before they journey off to college. Let them use their own judgment to decide what is best for them and trust them to make good decisions.
"The best thing my mom did was let me loose before I went to college," Fowkes says. "She knew where I was when she needed me, but she let me do my own thing the summer before college. When I went to school, the freedom wasn't an issue for me," he recalls.
6. Negotiate frequency of communication - Petkas recommends talking about how often you'll speak on the phone, visit each other, or send emails.
"Parents need to stay connected to their children and college students need to respect the fact that parents want to 'check in' with them periodically to see how they are doing," Petkas states.
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