Is Parental Stress a Cause of Autism in Children?
As if there isn't already enough parental guilt to go around, over 20 separate studies have uncovered the large role parental stress is playing in physical and mental illness among today's kids. In fact, medical research has shown that parental stress may be one of the major contributing factors to autism, ADHD, and asthma in children. "What makes this great news is that, unlike genetics, parents can do something about stress levels," says David Code, author of To Raise Happy Kids, Put Your Marriage First.
The origin of childhood disorders
Anxiety is highly contagious. "The mind-body connection is powerful. Children are paying the price for their parents' stressful lifestyle," says Code. Children focus on body language, facial expressions, and the vibe of a household, according to a Notre Dame study. Economic woes, hectic schedules, and neglected marriages are not only putting couples at risk, but affecting their children's brain architecture and chemistry in such a way that makes them susceptible to stress-related disorders.
The Harvard-based National Scientific Council for the Developing Child links parental stress to increases in childhood asthma, diabetes, depression, and anxiety disorders; they stop short of naming ADHD or autism, but do note that "psychological" and "neurodevelopmental" disorders can result.
Likewise, a Baltimore research center notes that over half of the mothers of the 10,000 families with autistic children in their database were diagnosed with depression even before their autistic child was born. This finding isn't about blame and it isn't to say that all mothers who suffer from depression will have an autistic child. Depressed mothers involuntarily pass their stress onto their babies in the womb, which may result in a child born with an oversensitive, overreactive stress response characteristic of autism, says the Harvard council.
In The Mommy MD Guide to Pregnancy and Birth, mom and doctor Eva R. explains how stress over her older daughter's illness physically affected her second child: "When my second daughter was born, she had a sucking blister on her wrist. She was under so much stress that she sucked on her own hand inside of me. That showed me the impact of stress in utero. What you do – and even what you think – matters. It's impossible to avoid stress, but it's critical to minimize it as much as you can."
Let Love In
"The biggest source of parental stress is relationship problems," says Code. Many couples sweep their problems under the rug to "keep the peace" or "spare" their children from seeing them argue. Kids pick up on it. Researchers at the University of Rochester discovered that a couple's withdrawal from each other has a greater impact on their children's mental health and behavior than parents who argue.
"Parents are essentially off-loading their anxiety onto their kids," Code adds. This stress is further compounded when parents "flee" their partner and focus on their child instead. It's important to recognize when you're distancing yourself from your spouse by avoiding touchy topics, working long hours, focusing on the TV or computer, or, especially, overparenting.
You don't have to choose between your spouse and children to break the cycle of stress. By improving relationships, parents can set a good example, positively impact their children's current health and well-being, and affect how kids function in their own future relationships.
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