You already know how important it is to babyproof your home before your new baby arrives on the scene. What you might not realize is that it's important to "babyproof" your relationship with your partner, too. Here are some sure-fire strategies for staying connected with your partner when baby makes three.
Stockpile Lots of Memories Before Your Baby Arrives.
Enjoy dinner out in a fancy restaurant, schedule one last
pre-baby weekend getaway and have plenty of spontaneous sex.
The special memories that you stockpile during the weeks
leading up to your baby's birth will help the two of you to
weather any relationship challenges that you may face during
the months ahead.
Be Prepared for a Bit of a Rough Ride After the Baby is
Born.
While a lot of couples find that their shared excitement about
the pregnancy brings them closer together during the months
leading up to their baby's birth, some of that closeness can be
lost during the weeks after the baby's birth.
Both parents may be so preoccupied with caring for the new baby that they allow their relationship to take a back seat for the time being. It's perfectly normal for the focus to shift to the baby, but don't fall into the all-too-common trap of allowing your love for your baby to totally eclipse your love for your partner.
Make Time for Each Other.
Start thinking about ways the two of you will be able to fit
"couple time" into your post-baby schedule. Plan to make
spending time with your partner a priority, even if that means
keeping your eyes open for an extra hour after the baby goes to
bed or asking a friend or relative to stay with the baby for an
hour or two so that you and your partner can have dinner out at
a favorite restaurant.
Hint: If you can't bear the thought of being away from your baby quite yet, plan to have "date night" at home. Just one word of warning: you have to be prepared to roll with the punches. It's impossible to predict ahead of time whether the first hot-and-heavy kiss you've enjoyed in weeks will be preempted by the cries of a hungry baby!
Give it Time to Get Back on Track.
Accept the fact that it may take time to get your sexual
relationship back on track. A University of Wisconsin study of
570 new parents found that it typically takes bottle-feeding
parents about seven weeks and breastfeeding parents about eight
weeks to start having sexual intercourse again. Only 17 percent
of couples who were surveyed reported having sex during the
month after childbirth.
Remind Yourself and Your Partner That This Too Shall
Pass.
Until you hit the so-called "reward period" of parenting, try
to lower your expectations of yourself and your partner so
there will be less friction between the two of you.
Keep Your Sense of Humor.
A shared laugh at the end of a particularly rough day can work
wonders by cementing the ties between you and your partner and
relieving some of the tension of the early weeks of parenthood.
Laughter is truly the best medicine, so make sure you keep a
large bottle on hand.
About the Author:
Ann Douglas is an award-winning pregnancy and parenting author. She is the author of "The Mother of All Pregnancy Books," "The Mother of All Baby Books," "The Mother of All Toddler Books," "The Mother of All Parenting Books," and "The Mother of All Pregnancy Organizers" (all part of the internationally best-selling The Mother of All® Books series), as well as the two debut titles in the newly launched The Mother of All Solutions series: "Sleep Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler and Preschooler: The Ultimate No-Worry Approach for Each Age and Stage" (Mother of All Solutions) , and "Mealtime Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler and Preschooler, Part of The Mother of All Solutions series: The Ultimate No-Worry Approach for Each Age and Stage (Mother of All Solutions)." She is also the co-author of other highly popular titles in the pregnancy and parenting category, including "The Unofficial Guide to Having a Baby" and "Trying Again: A Guide to Pregnancy after Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss" (both co-authored with John R. Sussman, MD).
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