3.
Lots to Talk About
Studies
reveal that the more parents talk to their children from birth
(even before birth) on, the more likely it is that the kids
will be verbally proficient. The same applies to marriages.
Talking a lot to your partner not only helps keep you both in
the know about each other's thoughts, it exhibits to the
children one of the most significant qualities of a good
relationship. Communicating with your significant other over
breakfast, lunch, dinner, in the car, and on the phone lets the
kids see that talking creates harmony. Silence is golden on
occasion, to show the young ones that you don't always have to
talk to be at-one with your partner, but being a daily example
of how to verbalize emotions and information will help your
children in any relationship. Key topics to present in front of
your kids involve asking each other about the day, inquiring
about future plans, discussing the news and culture, and
seeking input on everyday decisions. This last topic is a good
one to show the value of interdependence and the respect two
people have for each other's opinion.
4.
Alone Time
Being a
good parent is certainly about spending a lot of interactive
time as a family unit. It's also about getting quality moments
with your partner. Children need to know that Mom and Dad have
a relationship with one another, not just with them. They
should see that it's OK for parents to be apart from the kids on
a consistent basis so they know for themselves that, at the
center of many successful families, is a successful
partnership. Plan on weekly (at least biweekly) date nights to
let kids know grown-ups need time alone. Doing this regularly
helps children be more comfortable with parents going out. When
you do go out, parents should be sure to have a good time
seeing a grown-up movie, eating leisurely, being out with other
adults, whatever it takes to feel like a couple, not just
parental units. It's also wise to enforce bedtimes so Mommy and
Daddy can have alone time.
5.
Playfulness
You don't
always have to go out of the house to show your kids that you're
having a good time. Laughing with each other displays how much
fun you have with your partner. Let the children see you tickle
each other, crack (G-rated) adult jokes, play checkers, even
wrestle so they can see playfulness as one of the significant
facets to a relationship. Don't be afraid to have the kids see
you being silly. In fact, next time you're at a party with a
karaoke machine, perform a duet with your partner. You'll laugh
and embarrass the kids more than yourselves. And your children
will get a glimpse of the crazy-in-love people you once were --
and hopefully always will be.
Following the above suggestions can truly educate sons and daughters about the keys to being in a good relationship. Parents should not worry about neglecting their kids when they're focused on each other because, indirectly, they are. Being a model of a working relationship will teach children to respect you, each other, and their future loved ones. While doing all this, parents will reap the benefits of not only being teachers, but attentive partners.
About the Author:
Gregory Keer is a syndicated columnist, teacher, and on-air expert on fatherhood. His Family ManTM column appears in publications across the country, including L.A. Parent, Boston Parents' Paper, Bay Area Parent, Long Island Parenting News, Metro Augusta Parent, and Sydney's Child in Australia. Keer's concurrent column, Today's Family Man, is found at his online fatherhood magazine, FamilyManOnline.com. He also writes for Parenting magazine and the Parents' Choice Foundation as well as such sites as Parenthood.com, Pregnancy.org, ModernMom.com, FamilyResource.com, DrLaura.com, SheKnows.com, KeepKidsHealthy.com, and CanadianParents.com. On television, Keer has appeared on morning shows and cable specials. He is the father of three sons and husband to Wendy, a professor in child-development.
Copyright 2007 Modern Mom, LLC. All rights reserved.
8 |
