onetiredmama: Little Hair, Big Deal

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When Jack turned 10 months old, his dark blonde hair started to curl. And since those curls sprouted, Jack has been stalked by Grammies at the mall, the grocery store -- wherever we go. Old ladies loooove Jack's hair. And I think it's pretty cute, too. And I have to admit, I feel proud when people say how cute he is with that wonderful hair, like I worked really hard eating a trough of onions during that 7th month of pregnancy to get that hair; not acknowledging that it was really nothing more than just a genetic shower gift.

Before: Cute Curls

Now for whatever reason, many men -- including my husband -- are not so enamored with the 'cues. Maybe because curly haired adult men remember the old cheek-pinching ladies and wish their locks were straight. Men generally don't want to be "sooo cuuuuute!" Pat's best friend still keeps his hair super short so you can't see the curls. So my husband has been promising to give Jack a "wiffle" as they called in New England, where he grew up. He started each summer with the buzz cut-do when he was a boy, and wants to do the same for Jack. I knew it was coming, but still I had to hold back the tears when the two of them came home to show off Jack's "little hair" as he calls it. (I guess Pat feared I would have thrown myself between Jack and the razor if he didn't get it done when I wasn't around.)

So here's this little boy standing in my family room, looking like Jack, but not exactly my tousle-headed Jack. His curls were gone! He looked like a different kid. A big boy I didn't recognize! Don't get me wrong, I think he looks adorable no matter what his hairstyle. It's just seems wrong to lop off such gorgeous locks -- like he's ignoring a god-given gift. If you have such beautiful curls, you should be sporting them around for everyone to see. "It'll grow back," everyone says. But some people have been warning me that his curls will never grow back the same. And I wonder if I will ever see them again, because as it turns out, Jack loves his new haircut. He wants to get it buzzed again and it's only grown 1/64th of an inch. (Yes, I've been measuring.) So what do I do? Do I insist on growing back the hair I love, or let him have

After: Jack's 'Little Hair.'

his little hair? I did haul him around in my womb for 9 months; I deserve some sort of deference, don't I? At least one school picture with those beautiful locks?

I was not prepared to start letting an almost 5 year old make his own grooming decisions. I have to remind him to brush his teeth -- how can I trust he really has the best intuition for the fate of his follicles? Luckily, clothes aren't an issue with us yet. My friend has a 7 year old daughter who no longer likes anything she picks out for her. She, too, was a bit surprised by how soon her sense of style started molding itself. Honestly, I don't think I remember having a preference about hair or clothes until I was in 6th grade and realized I was way out of it because I didn't have any Jordache jeans. Of course then we didn't have stores that catered to kids' clothes and thereby creating fashion outcasts at an even earlier age. There was only a kids' department to choose from at Sears or JCPenney's. Now we've got stores ready to outfit toddlers for the runway, so I guess it shouldn't be shocking that Jack wants a say in how he looks. It's a different world these days.

And maybe, just maybe, it bothers me that Jack's got a different opinion than me. Up until now, I've been his personal assistant, nutritionist, stylist and image consultant. But he's not my little guy so much anymore. I'm taking the first step toward uncool mom, I guess, wanting him to look different than he wants to look; paving the way for our first "not-in-my-house" showdown.