onetiredmama: Lessons To Learn
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So, as we filed into the classroom for Kindergarten
orientation, I was ready for a tidal wave of tears. I felt the
sting in my eyes, but used that old look-at-the-ceiling trick to
hold them back. And that was it. No tears -- yet. I wonder if
it's the calm before the sob storm. I imagine it will come at a
most opportune time, like during open house. I'll see some
jagged little apple he cut out for a classroom friendship tree
that will crush me. And I'll collapse on the spot into the
quivering blob of emotional marshmallow fluff that I am. My poor
husband will have to make up an excuse about a rare reaction to
prescription medicine or something and haul my sorry self home.
Having children has only compounded this problem. Instead of just me bobbing around in my emotional sea, I have two little ones to keep afloat. And this whole kindergarten business feels like a clenched fist in my heart trying to pull me under. A fist that's battering me with the news that it's the end of era. Jack is out from under my wing. He's no longer my baby. And that makes me sad, but also proud.
So maybe there won't be any tears, after all. Maybe it's not such a sad thing as an exciting thing. Maybe I'm more glad than sad, that we're really doing it -- that we're raising this little boy and he's marching on to the next step of childhood. That we made it through the baby years intact. My tomatoes didn't grow in their plastic package, and Jack can't sprout either if I keep him clenched to my chest. Maybe I'm graduating from my own emotional kindergarten into a class of Mommies who can hold it together.
But surely there must be room for me to hide back by the cubbies, just to be sure he's OK?
Parting is such sweet sorrow...
Lisa Scott lives outside of Buffalo, NY with her husband Patrick and their two children Jack and Riley. She co-anchors the morning and noon newscasts at the CBS affiliate.
Lisa still hasn't cried yet over kindergarten. But Riley is turning two next week...
Comments? Feedback? Kudos? Email Lisa at onetiredmama@modernmom.com
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