onetiredmama: Clearance Crack

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Alfre Woodard had a big secret hidden in her basement on Wisteria Lane well, I have a big secret in my attic. It's hidden in bags and boxes, tucked away from sight, usually smuggled up there under the cover of night.

Only a few people know about it up until now. Here goes: It's my Clearance Crack Collection. Oh, you didn't catch that? Ok. It's my Clearance Crack Collection! It comes down to this: if something is 75% off or more, I simply must purchase it. If it's 90% off, I have no choice. It's programmed into my genes. It's like hunting; I bring home my kill and lay it out to inspect, sometimes showing it off to jealous friends and relatives. Indeed, when I'm out there on "the hunt" my pulse has been known to race, my step does indeed quicken. I can spot a red tag 50 yards away. I recently scaled down to a smaller SUV and actually worried that I might not have enough room now for my clearance hauls. Certain family members and friends have asked to browse my "store" for a last minute gift item. Friends and maybe even certain beloved coworkers have actually purchased deals from me out of the back of my car! (Is that legal?) Most of the stuff I don't need. I just can't pass up a deal. I always figure I'll find something to do with it.

The true scope of the problem became evident recently when we had to put on a new roof, all the way down to replacing the plywood. (Too bad I couldn't find a clearance roof!!!!) In order to secure my stash from falling debris, I had to either move it, or cover it up. There was much to move, much I had forgotten "bagging." (Having a full attic really enables this problem, BTW.)

Now not to uh, target any one particular store, I'll make up a pseudonym to compile the various brick and mortar and online stores that feed my supply. We'll call it Bullseye-KWal-zon . Here are a few highlights from the stash: 88 small stockings for future classmates to decorate for the holiday season (90% off at Bullseye-KWal-zon .;) 22 resin Christmas puppy ornaments to personalize (90% off) in case we decide not to go with the stockings; 34 plush Christmas ornaments (90% off) as a third option for holiday class time merriment. Also, a similar sized stash of spooky bags, crafts and treats for Halloween fun.

I happened upon a 75% off sale in the dollar section at Bullseye-KWal-zon . I'll do the math that's 25 cents my friends. I was going to buy whatever was on sale. It happened to be jewelry making supplies. Quick-- scan think! What can I do with jewelry making supplies? Ding ding ding! Birthday party theme! Sure, Riley's only 2, but when she's like 7 it would be an awesome party. I notice another lady scooping up the supplies just as quickly as me. I try to distract her with casual conversation. "So, what are you doing with all this stuff?" "Girl Scout Troop," she explains, not slowing down to answer. I try to search for a few more leather chokers before she gets them all. We're not fighting over it exactly, but we're both pretty aggressive with our plucking of said jewelry- making items from their bins. Riley will have to limit the number of friends she can make in the second grade to 15 so each girl can have one of the 6 piece jewelry making sets I purchased in that particular spree. Hopefully she'll keep that same number of friends for the party the next year. I only bought 75% off slumber party accessories for 15 girls. But next year, she can only invite six friends. I could only find 6 mini build a bear kits. (But how many friends do you have when your 3?)