onetiredmama: No Teasing
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Last time I checked, there was no loophole in the law that allowed moms to wrangle with 10 year old goobers who make fun of your first grader. (Please let me know if that's changed.) I had to remind myself of this flaw in our legal systen when I was with Jack at the library recently. He spotted two young rabblerousers hiding behind the puppet theatre in the children's wing, giggling and being louder than Jack thought they should be. He strides right up to them and says "Shh, this is a library. You're supposed to be quiet." They look at each other and roll their eyes, "OK, cool dude." They make gestures and whisper insults I can't hear as I whisk Jack away -- not before giving them the evilest mommy eye I could conjure up. He didn't seem to notice that they didn't appreciate his input.
How could you ever pick on such a cutie?
I realize in the land of bullies this doesn't even count as a misdemeanor. But it was the first time I had witnessed someone making fun of my son (besides his sister-- that's her job, though.) And I'm worried this might be just the beginning. This "hall monitor" behavior is one of the parting gifts of Aspberger's Syndrome. Kids like Jack who are high functioning and on the spectrum, often become the classroom police officer; they are very rule bound and feel obligated to remind others when they aren't up to snuff. They're not trying to be tattle tales, they just know things work a certain way and want people to abide by those rules. And while such behavior isn't surprising for lots of kids in the lower grades, most of them soon realize this is a fast way to become voted "Most Likely to Get Wedgie on the Playground." I'm hoping Jack realizes the ramifications, too, before he's a ten-year-old getting a swirly in the bathroom.
I joke about it, but I could cry just thinking of it,
really. I hate knowing that not every person on this planet is
going to love Jack like I do; that they won't see his wonderful
gifts, and forgive his shortcomings. And it kills me to admit
that I can't protect him from every hurt. It was a lot easier
when I just had to lock up the poisons and keep sharp objects
on high shelves. Those kind of pains are easy to prevent. But
unless I buy some spy surveillance equipment to monitor his
every move, offering him snappy comebacks through a secret
service earpiece, what can I do? Why can't somebody invent some
parental time machine that would allow manic mommies to go back
to their own youth and endure teasing in their child's
place?
Perhaps I could give Jack magical wizard powers to ward
off bullies.
Maybe Jack will be made of tougher
skin than me. Maybe he won't care if other kids poke fun like
kids throughout history have done. Surely he would get more
grief if mommy started fighting his battles. So I'll have to
keep quiet and seethe inside if teasing ever becomes a problem.
Maybe he'll handle it with humor and nonchalance. Maybe his
developing Tae Kwon Do skills will keep the baddest bullies at
bay. I just hope it hurts me more than it will him, because
this little dose I saw at the library still stings.
Lisa Scott lives outside of Buffalo, NY with her husband Patrick and their two children Jack and Riley. She co-anchors the morning and noon newscasts at the CBS affiliate.
Lisa got teased on the bus the first day at her new school in 1st grade and can still feel the pit in her stomach when she remembers it.
Comments? Feedback? Kudos? Email Lisa at onetiredmama@modernmom.com
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