When You Can't Be Around

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In this day and age, we are not able to be around our children all the time. This being the case, we are not always able to monitor what they are seeing, hearing or learning. From nannies to daycare to preschool, our children are like little sponges, ready to absorb and repeat anything they hear. By implementing rules and guidelines, you can ensure that your children have a positive experience with secondary caregivers who are respectful of your wishes.

Daycare

Daycare facilities provide children with a fun, safe place to spend the day while parents are working. Although most parents would love to know what goes on when they are not around, they must trust these caregivers to provide a stable, safe and positive environment. But what happens if another child in this daycare is naughty and a setting a bad example for your child. What should you do if the daycare provider is not as strict as you are at home? We will never be able to fully control what our children hear, especially when they are not with us, as other parents may not place much emphasis on manners. This is why it is so important that you teach your children that the rules they have at home are the same rules when they are not with Mommy and/or Daddy. This means that if they see another child having bad manners, they should not do the same.

Nannies

We entrust nannies to care for our children as if they were our own. While they can be spending up to ten hours a day with our children, we hope that they will help to raise them according to the boundaries and rules we, as parents, have set. Parents spend enormous amounts of money for nannies, au pairs and babysitters and doing things as you want them done is why they are getting paid.

If the nanny is more strict than you:

Clearly communicate to your nanny the rules that have been set for your child. It is a good idea that your child learn to be adaptable with others who care for him/her, however you are the parent and therefore, have the ultimate say. Methods of punishment should be decided by you. If you do find that your nanny is stricter than you are, there are some things you can do. The nanny spends quite a bit of time with your child and perhaps, they are seeing an area of weakness that you are not noticing. Before making any firm decisions, sleep on it and then decide with a clear head in which areas the strictness is causing problems and in which areas your child could use more boundaries.

DO'S & DON'TS:

Do set the rules from the beginning
Do ask about what has occurred during the day. Don't assume important events will be communicated.
Don't be judgmental of how your nanny has handled a situation until you have gotten the facts. Sometimes children's recollection of stories and facts can be misconstrued.
Don't expect your nanny to constantly tolerate naughty behavior. Give her some recourse.

If the nanny is less strict than you:

DO'S & DON'TS
Do make sure you let your nanny know the rules that you have set in place.
Do be sure to explain what kind of behavior you allow and don't allow.
Do give firm instructions on how you would like things handled if your child does not follow the rules.
Don't expect your nanny to be the disciplinarian. Do make sure she gives you details, so you can work with your child.