This week, I chatted with award-winning journalist and host of NPR News' All Things Considered, Michele Norris. Michele is the mother of a young son and daughter, and step mother to a son in college.
Lolita: What's your definition of a Modern Mom?
Michele: I think our definition of motherhood today is more expansive because of changes in the workforce, changes in our lifestyle and a more elastic definition of family. There are a lot of mothers out there who did not actually give birth to their children, lots of women who after watching their own mothers skate along the knife edge of work and family have opted to stay home with their kids...or work part time. Stepmoms. Soccermoms. Supermoms. Spouseless-moms. And, yes, Stay-at-home-and-greet-the-kids-with-warm-afterschool-snickerdoodle-moms. They are all different, and all modern in their own way, because today more women have more choices about what brand of motherhood they want to embrace.
Lolita: What's your secret to balancing career and family?Michele: Hold on to your sense of humor. On most days it is
like juggling chainsaws...while ridding a skateboard...during a
tornado. When things feel crazy, I find a dose of laughter can
help relieve the pressure. Finding the right balance is tough.
That old adage about having your cake and eating it too? It
should come with a warning about indigestion. If you try to
take on too much, watch out. I try to be honest about my
strengths and my limits, and I try to listen to that little
voice inside that starts to buzz when my circuits are
overloaded. And I realized that I had to learn how to say "NO"
more often so I could have peace in mind and more time for the
most important things in life.
Lolita: What did your parents teach you about
parenting?
Michele: I have been blessed with great parents and a wonderful cocoon of aunts, uncles and grandparents. They, especially my parents, taught me so, so, so many important lessons about parenting that I could not possibly list them all here. Among the most important things I learned growing up in a big, loud, tight-knit family, was summed up in that James Taylor song: "shower the people you love with love."
I never had to guess at my parent's feelings about me. They
placed high expectations on our shoulders but then they
surrounded us with love and support and they were generous with
the gift of time. They pushed us to aim high and do our best,
and they were there when we stumbled or when we didn't know if
we had what it takes. They encouraged -- no make that -- they
implored us to believe in ourselves. And, they taught us that
success is great but means little if you don't use your time
and your talents to help others. I try every day to instill
those same values in my own children.
Oh yeah, and one more thing. I learned that home-cooked
family meals are the best antidote for almost anything and
certainly one of most important ingredients in a happy
childhood.
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