Transitioning to College
Rate This Article
Things have changed since you went off to college for the first time. Here are a few ways you can help ease the transition for you and your recent graduate.
Today's Answer To Pre-Paid Long Distance
A decade ago, parents gave their college-bound kids pre-paid long distance to encourage them to stay in touch. But your student may rarely use his dorm phone at all! Today, young people are more likely to rely on text messaging or cell phones to stay in touch. A pre-paid mobile phone allows your student to give you a call when he's away from a land line, but will only allow him to use minutes already purchased—meaning he can't run up the bill chatting with friends. Many pre-paid phones also come with wireless web and text messaging capabilities. Check out this handy quiz that will help you find the best pre-paid cell phone plan for your budget and your student's needs.
Keep In Touch Digitally
Text messaging, e-mail, and social networking sites like MySpace.com and Facebook.com can help parents feel connected to their students without putting a damper on their burgeoning independence. Tapping into the technology that your child is uses on a daily basis can help you feel more a part of their lives even when they're far away. Pamela Oldham of Texas keeps in regular touch with her daughter, a junior at a university in Virginia, through text messaging, e-mail, and Facebook. For example, her daughter is in a improv club, and often posts pictures and videos of her performances on Facebook and sends her parents a link. Pamela says it's not quite the same as being there in person, but seeing the performances helps her feel closer to her daughter by allowing her to share an important part of her life.
Like many college students today, Pamela says, her daughter checks e-mail far less frequently than she looks at her text messages. "Texting is the fastest way to get hold of her if I have to. Or if she's in class and I can't call her, I'll text her." It's not only a quick way to get in touch, but also allows her daughter to read the message privately "because who wants everyone to know they're talking to their mom?" she jokes. Pamela adds that her daughter often text messages her, too—though sometimes just to say "I need money"!
Talk To Them About Credit
According to "Generation Broke", a report by the nonpartisan think tank Demos, young adults are in more debt than ever before. Even the youngest adults, in the 18-24 year old age bracket, saw a sharp rise in credit card debt between 1992 and 2001. In fact, in 2001 18-24 year olds with credit card debt spent, on average, nearly 30% of their income on debt payment—that's double the amount spent in 1992.
Much of this credit is originating during the college years, when students—even those with no real income and no credit score—are bombarded with credit-card offers by mail, online, and even on campus, where credit card companies often set up booths and give away free gifts—like T-shirts or two-liters of soda—in exchange for a completed application.
In a 2006 report by the American Council on Education found that in the years 2003 and 2004, 56 percent of all "traditional" undergraduates—that is, those who are still dependent on their parents for tax purposes—owned at least one credit card. 41% of those students carried a balance on their card from month to month.
It's crucial to sit down with your student before she heads off for campus to talk about responsible use of credit. And make sure she feels comfortable coming to you if she gets in trouble with credit cards. Even a relatively small balance can be difficult for a cash-strapped college student to stay on top of, and getting behind on payments or defaulting on the loan can damage credit for years to come.
Embrace Your Emptier Nest
Feelings including loneliness, doubt over the choices you've made, and fears about your child's ability to deal with the stresses and independence of college can make it a difficult transition for parents, too. And psychologists say that today's style of highly involved, "helicopter" parenting can make this transition even more difficult, since many parents are accustomed to using most of their time and money doing things with or for their kids. But an emptier nest doesn't have to lead to a missing sense of purpose. Look at it instead as an opportunity to pursue new hobbies, activities, or a new or different career—as your child embarks on his or her new adventure, so can you. Besides, delayed marriage, rising costs of living and a difficult job market means that young adults are moving back in with their parents at a record-breaking rate…so chances are good that your child will live with you again at some point!
