Related Links:
All Dream Team Topics:
- inspired ideas (232)
- arts and crafts (91)
- boredom busters (51)
- inexpensive ideas (43)
- healthy fun (39)
More Dream Team Tags
The Worst Dinner Ever
Rated by 5 members
"The Worst Dinner Ever," as it will be always known, was so unpleasant that it seems permanently etched in my memory. The images from it are tough to shake, like those from a traumatic event -- two over-turned glasses, a screaming baby Miles, a tearful, hungry, but refusing-to-eat-what-was-in-front-of-him 7-year-old Henry, and a hysterical red-faced 9-year-old Julia, who had slipped onto the floor, limbs splayed every which way.
Later that night, Dave could barely utter, "We've got to..." before his words trailed off and his eyes glazed over. I know what he meant to say. It takes moments like this for me to wake up and realize that we might have to make some changes. (Ya think?)
I'd seen a peaceful family dinner on television before, but had no idea how we could get there without instituting our own version of Martial Law. The next morning Dave came up with the solution, "We've got to formalize dinner and begin a tradition that sets the tone and signals the beginning of an important part of the day. They need to take dinner time seriously. Let's try saying some words -- some kind of blessing -- to mark the start of dinner."
I added my two cents by digging through the bookshelf to find A GRATEFUL HEART: DAILY BLESSINGS FROM THE BUDDHA TO THE BEATLES, a collection of poems and quotes to help us with our new tradition.
The next evening we explained the new dinner regime to the kids. Each night someone would read or say our "food-for-thought words," which would mark the beginning of dinner. Everyone would be seated and quiet and no one would begin eating until the words were spoken. When it was your turn, you could say or read whatever you liked. All the normal rules of dinner would apply: napkins in lap; listening to others speak without interrupting; speaking in an "inside" voice at all times; asking to be excused before leaving the table; and clearing the table when dinner was over.
To be honest, I braced myself for an eye roll, but instead I saw smiles and excitement. During the inaugural week of our new tradition, Julia read from Harry Potter, Henry quoted Babe Ruth, Dave read some lyrics from the Beatles, I quoted Walt Whitman, and Baby Miles yelled "Touch Down!" (his newest words).
When I walked into school last week, I saw a new story of Julia's displayed in the hallway near her classroom. As I got closer I realized she was describing "The Worst Dinner Ever." Only instead of writing it as a tragedy, she'd titled it: "Funniest Moment." As I read her version, I finally able to laugh at the memory.
Does your family sit down together for dinner? What kinds of dinner time traditions do you have? Click the comments link below to share ideas.
Member Comments On…
The Worst Dinner Ever
Dinner can be extremely stressful even moreso when it is squeezed in between acting and boy scouts and your kids are picky eaters on a good day. We have been working very hard to keep to a schedule and to make dinner a time for sharing. It is not always successful but as long as we keep trying we are in the right place.
0 |
I loved this piece on pre-dinner rituals! I told Sophie and Henry about it last night, and Sophie was so taken by the idea that she ran and got something to read herself -- turned out to be her Webkins trading cards! Seriously, though, what matters most to us is that we are together, gathered around the table, each talking about his/her day. For us, just settling in around the dining room table, rather than eating at the kitchen island, like we do for breakfast and lunch, has a warming, soothing effect. Thanks again for the piece!
0 |
Absolutely right! The ritual is critical. A FABULOUS book on parenting -- the Blessing of a Skinned Knee by Wendy Mogel -- talks about this as well, in the context of the Jewish tradition. But setting aside the time to be thankful and respectful and to come together as a family is so important and valuable to everyone in the family, regardless of your religious tradition (or lack thereof).
1 |
Having so many girls(5, ages 7-17, yep that's right) and with so many afterschool sports and activities, dinner is the one constant that our family comes together for. The meal is always served in our Dining Room. On weekday nights, the girls take turns in saying the blessing. On the weekend, we say the blessing together. The girls all have roles in preparing dinner, one of the girls would be the sous chef to either my husband or I, another would set the table, someone would get the drink orders for each person, another would make sure that all needed dressings and spices were out,and the youngest usually announces that it is dinnertime. At the end of dinner, we all clear together, unless homework is a pressing matter for one or all of the girls.
Dinner is the one calming factor in our house. It's where we talk about our day and share it with others.
2 |
I didn't mean to make it sound like praying is not as important it is the glue that has held our family together through all of our dinnertime conversations!
4 |
We always pray for our meal but most importantly we always talked about our day. Everyone had a chance to talk about what kinds of good things went on as well as the bad. Then my husband would take a different child with him to do dishes and from what our boys said it was never dull he used that time to communicate with them one on one.
2 |
We have a long standing tradition of thanking Jesus for our meal before we begin. This has singled the begining of breakfast, lunch and dinner as long as I can remember. Now my kids do the same thing with their kids.
2 |
Amen! I truly believe that gratitude is transformational and while I've had my share of "worst dinner ever" moments, we've also had a few wonderful ones and those have always followed when we've taken time to pray before dinner. It sets a reverent, special tone that I think kids really pick up on and respect. Thank you for reminding me of how important it is to do consistently with my kids.
2 |
Although we haven't formalized our meals yet, we are slowly "evolving" our dinner times towards this pardigm. Now that our kids (Jackson, 6 and Skylar, 5) are becoming naturally interested in spirituality, we've started praying every night before bed. The Buddhist prayer before dinner asks us to remember all the hands, lives and forces that have shaped the meal before us. The great fringe benefit of the Buddhist prayer is that it can really turn you off of mass-produced, processed foods--your meals get healthier as you think about where your food has been before your childen put it in their mouths!
1 |
Thanking God for what He has set before us is our way of starting our meal. The girls actually argue over who gets to say the prayer. Then during our meal, we play a game we call "Highs and Lows". We all take turns telling about our High and Low of the day. It's a nice way to find out a little about what happened with your family that day when the afternoon has been busy.
8 |
