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Shoe-Lace Lessons
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Nothing, aside from getting a baby to sleep through the night and toilet-training a toddler, is more difficult than teaching a child to tie her own shoes.
I should have known I was in for trouble when my daughter Sabrina went through that months-long stage where she insisted on putting her shoes on by herself, yet always seemed to end up with her toes pointing out to the sides, like some kind of cross between a preschooler and a duck. My husband attributed this to what he calls the rule of 50/50/90. There was a 50/50 chance she could get it wrong, and 90 percent of the time, she did.
We solved the left/right problem by writing "L" and "R" inside her shoes. Teaching her to tie the laces was a bigger dilemma, however.
We tried teaching Sabrina both classic methods -- the one where you make one loop and wrap the opposite lace around and pull it through, and the classic "bunny ear" technique, where you make two loops and tie them together.
Sabrina couldn't manage either one, though. Her little fingers tried, but fumbled, and she was left with two limp laces every time. When I said "Wrap the lace around the loop," or "Fold that bunny ear underneath that other one," it was hard for her to figure out which piece I meant. Poking my fingers in there to help only made matters worse. We ended up with a nest of laces and enough frustration to make both of us consider opting for Velcro-closure shoes for life.
Then one day in my travels, I came across a truly inspired novelty book titled THE SHOE BOOK. Shaped like an old-fashioned high-top sneaker, this book gave step-by-step directions with easy-to-follow pictures. The ingenious part about it, though, wasn't the directions or the pictures -- it was the laces. Half red, half yellow, the child would lace them through the cardboard "shoe," holding one color in one hand and one color in the other. This made giving directions far, far easier. When I said, "Sabrina, wrap the yellow lace around the red loop," she knew exactly what I meant.
Although this book may now be difficult to find, it's easy enough to imitate the idea at home by purchasing two pairs of contrasting laces, cutting them in half, and tying the two differently colored halves together in the middle.
It worked for us. I'm proud to report that Sabrina is almost 14 now and has a closet full of stylish shoes -- not a single pair with Velcro closures.
Member Comments On…
Shoe-Lace Lessons
I wish I would have had this book 13 years ago with my daughter! It would have saved me from a lot of headaches!
I just found the book "Red Lace, Yellow Lace; Learn to Tie Your Shoes!" through the One Step Ahead catalog (www.onestepahead.com). I hope it will be helpful to all you other parents! I know it will help me when my son gets old enough to tie his shoes.
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This book is a great idea. Thank you. We solved the putting the shoe on the wrong foot problem by placing the shoes next to eachother. If there was a big V in between the toes they were the wrong way, if the V was little you got it right. Hope this helps.
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My son is 6 and has a form high functioning autism. He is VERY visual, I purchased this book through a Scholastic book order from his school. Although we haven't mastered it yet, it is definitely easier with the different colors. It was about $7 and well worth it!
As far as the issue fudexin is having with the not wanting to get anything done on their own... I have printed up countless calenders (or bought them at the $1 store) along with stickers from Dollar Tree, and labeled them for clean room, brushing teeth, get dressed, get pj's, germs (ie blow nose), etc. Originally I got some from ChuckECheese.com but where he doesn't know about the reward, I am saving by not having to go to purchase more. Bt, anyhow, just the reward of picking a sticker from the bowl an putting it on the correct calender has been working for us. And it's cheap, I just have to make sure I have place to put the calenders and tolerance to see them all there. But hey, it works for us!
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I poked 2 holes in a plastic container lid, tied 2 different colored fat yarn hair 'ribbons' in a knot & poked the loose ends through the holes in the container. I sat behind them & used a hand over hand method the first few times we played the 'tying game'.
My mother told us the story of a bunny trying to escape a hunter & it hopped around the tree & escaped into the hole as we learned to tie our shoes. we had to pull the loops tight so the hunter couldn't find the bunny.
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My daughter also wanted to do it all by herself- whether she was really able to do so or not. We tried teaching her to tie using the loop around method (which my husband and I both learned) without any luck. It finally dawned on us that the bunny ears method was exactly like tying the double part of a double knot, which she had been able to do for some time. We switched to bunny ears and she mastered tying right away. Unfortunately, she is now (at 5 1/2) in the stage of not wanting to do ANYTHING herself even if she can do it (ie. put on her own shirt and pants, etc.). If it wasn't winter in Indiana I'd be tempted to take her to school in pj's with clothes in her backpack! Any suggestions on this one?
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This is a pertinent topic at my house too. My son has his first pair of lace up shoes at age 5 1/2 (I've been buying him shoes based on how fast he can get them on by himself - he's the second child). His only hopes for learning to tie his shoes rest on his left handed mother (both of my kids are right handed) and his zero patience father. We'll try the two color laces first. If that doesn't work, we'll try to find the book....or maybe I'll let my 8 year old have a go at it.
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We've used this book and it was perfect for my little girl and can't wait to use it with my son. My daughter was so frustrated we were all at our wits end. Our book even came with special shoelaces to use on her favorite shoes.
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We have yet to attempt the process with my son of how to tie his shoe. However we have gone through the potty training stage and i believe that this was the hardest thing to do. He was very insistant on not peeing in the toilet and even peed on the kitchen floor one time after he had removed his training pants. I finnally gave up and in his own time he came around and was potty trained in no time. I think that with anything your child needs to let you know when he or she is ready or it will never happen no matter how bad you want it to happen. I figure if i can get through this potty training stuff then i can get through anything. Learning to tie his shoes should be a breeze.
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as we all know, telling a child to "loop that around" doesn't work, and showing them doesn't work.
want to know what works great? sit behind them, reach around, and tie their shoes so they can see how it looks from their perspective. then do it again, but this time have them hold the laces, and you guide their hands.
I learned this way (I also learned to tie a windsor knot this way), and I taught both my children this way. Only took about 3 tries for each kid, and they had it down pat.
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How funny that this topic comes in today's email. I just gave up on teaching myself and bought what must be this same book for my son. It's called: Red Lace, Yellow Lace: Learn to Tie Your Shoe! You can order it from Barnes & Noble (and I'm sure from other booksellers) by going to:
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?z=y&EAN=9780812065534&itm=1
My son's daycare has quite a few and they say that it does help for the kids to have "hands on" with the different color laces to get the idea of what you're telling them to do. Mine should be at the house today. I'll let you know how we make out.
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