Mother-Daughter Journal

It was just before Christmas 2002, and I knew that in a few weeks' time, I'd be on my own with our two kids, Sabrina, then in third grade, and kindergartener Jake. I wasn't worried about taking care of the kids and the house by myself — as a Navy wife, I'd done that many times before.

But this time, my husband wasn't just going out to sea — he was going to war. I was worried about his safety, of course, but I think I was more worried about how the kids would take it. Would they get depressed? Would they have nightmares? How much CNN was too much? And when they got upset, should I cheer them up, or let them cry?

A journal writer since I was Sabrina's age, I knew writing was a good outlet. I didn't want Sabrina to feel as though the journal were a homework assignment, though, or that she was alone in sorting out those complicated feelings of missing her dad, so I decided we would share the journal. I would write to her, and she would (hopefully) write back to me.

An adorable kitty, empty pages where she could pour her heart out, and a mom who would be there to write back soon — it was the best I could think to do.

As with so many things, the journal didn't turn out exactly the way I planned. Sabrina never pined away on the page about how much she missed her dad, and she didn't pose philosophical questions about war and peace. But she did see the journal as something very special that we did together, and I think it ultimately helped us both get through that worrisome time.

Sabrina is now 13 and in the seventh grade, but we still sometimes write journal entries to each other. Although I intended this to be a way to help us through a difficult family time, it's turned into something I hope will be an heirloom I will pass down to Sabrina's children someday.

Our shared journal is a record of what we were thinking and of how we were together as mother and daughter, from Sabrina's elementary through her high school years — and perhaps even beyond.

Editor's Note: Want to start your own Mother-Daughter journal? Check out an excerpt of Shannon and Sabrina's journal here.