Finding a Little Zen

Ellie storms into the kitchen, eyes glaring, feet stomping, fit to burst with anger. She has just discovered Natalie in her bedroom, sneaking a test drive on her brand new recorder. Ellie's furious, both at the invasion of her privacy, and the fact that now she has to stop in the middle of her math homework to "decontaminate" her instrument.

I wince at the sight of this little tornado who is my daughter, because I know her anger won't be easily cast off. She'll wear it around all night, like her favorite purple poncho.

Tonight, it bothers me less because as luck would have it, when I was at the library with Natalie today, I discovered a children's book that might come in handy here. The curious illustration of a bear in shorts, holding a red parasol caught my eye. I added it to our book bag without even thumbing through it.

ZEN SHORTS by Jon J. Muth is the cleverly written story of a panda who befriends the three siblings next door. Like a kindly grandmother doling out oatmeal cookies, the panda imparts wisdom by simple sharing ancient Buddhist and Tao stories.

My favorite goes something like this: One monk carries a snotty rich chick across a deep puddle and gets not a nod of thanks. This infuriates monk two, who stews in silence over her rudeness, and finally confronts monk one. Monk one says coolly: "I set the woman down hours ago. Why are you still carrying her?"

Muth delivers this let-it-go message with such clarity, that I thought it might resonate for Ellie, too. At bedtime, I read the book to her, and we talked about that fable.

Today, Talie made another stealthy trip to big sisters' room, this time leaving one of Ellie's doll set-ups rearranged in her wake. An explosion ensued. But Ellie simmered down remarkably quickly. Her smile returned. The evening was peaceful.

"You did a good job calming down after you were angry at Natalie," I said at bedtime. "Did you think of that story we read?"

She rolled over and replied, "Oh, you mean the one about the mink?"

I can only hope she hung on to the concept a bit better than the names of the characters.