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A Good Morning Plan
Rated by 2 members
"Mama, may I please have Rice Krispies for breakfast?" Grace, 6, says as she sits at the breakfast bar.
"Sure," I say, as I fetch them from the pantry, pour them in the bowl and add the milk. She interrupts me, mid-stream.
"No, no. Chocolate milk, please," she says.
I add some chocolate syrup, mix it up just right and carry on a breakfast routine that I can only refer to as "service mode for Mama." Pour the juice, in the right cup, with the pink curly straw, retrieve dropped items, provide napkins, replenish juice -- all while keeping one eye on the clock.
Feeling like a waiter serving the food critic for the New York Times, I get flustered and knock a glass to the floor where it shatters. Typically no big deal, but when Grace harshly admonishes me with,"Mama, you really need to be more careful. Luke could cut his foot!"
I lost it.
Let's just say that I firmly, and loudly, let Grace know how unappreciated her bossiness was. To which she responded innocently, her eyes shimmering with tears, "Mama, I'm sorry."
I was crushed. And it was then that I realized it was I who owed her the apology -- not only for the Joan Crawford moment I'd just indulged in -- but for directing my frustration at her when all she was doing was playing a part I'd assigned.
We had begun first grade strong -- going to bed early, allowing time for a well-paced morning, planning well the night before. But I'd gotten lazy and given in to the age-old, "It's faster if I just do it myself" mentality which is the slippery parenting slope that never leads to a soft landing.
With Grace off to school, I tried to unburden the morning guilt by confessing to some friends and asking for help. Buoyed by their empathy and great suggestions, I resolved to get back to basics and type up a "Good Morning Plan."
Ours looks like this:
I still struggle with not wanting to jump in and speed things up occasionally, and there's often a spill to clean up. But messy floors are far easier to clean up than tears and messy morning drama.
Member Comments On…
A Good Morning Plan
Sometimes the best solutions are the simplest! These are great reminders to be both organized and kind! Thank You, Ame!
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I have a 5 year boy and a 4 year old girl. The day before I leave our clothes ready. I wake up at 6 am. After brushing my teeth, I leave their toothbrushes ready for the kids, pack their snacks, take out whatever meat I am preparing for dinner, pack my lunch and do one load of laundry. I dragged the kids to my bed so we can cuddle until 7 am. After brushing their teeth and eat breakfast, they start getting dress. While I finish with the dishes and get myself ready, the kids watch about 20 minutes of cartoons. Then ten minutes before we leave, I quickly brush my daughter's hair and by 8 a.m we are out the door.
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Our morning use to look something like that too.
Now the kids have a chore list. One of the things on there is to get their backpacks ready, make lunch, get out the clothes are are going to wear & make sure their planners are signed and put in back pack. I set my coffee to auto, get out the cereal box or oatmeal, along with the bowls and spoons. That way in the morning I wake them up, pour their cereal and put the spoon in the bowl. All they have to do is pour their milk and I pour my coffee.
Things go much smoother when you plan the night before!!
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We have also tried to make the mornings easier by doing some things the night before and I have started delegating jobs I feel are age appropriate and chances for my boys to learn.
1. We have started picking out 5 outfits every sunday and making sure all the pieces are together on the hanger and then they get hung in a special place in the closet.
2. The beds must be made and the outfit for the day picked out before each child leaves their room in the morning.
3. Ian, my 5 year old who is "overweight" has started making his own lunches and then explains to me why he picked what he did - we then talk about the 5 food groups and try to make sure he will have his 3 milks and 5 fruits and vegetables by the end of the day.
4. We always try to go over spelling words with my oldest, Patrick (7) everyday so they really sink in.
They really have pitched in and every couple of weeks we add more jobs.
Lisa
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I think this was an excellent article. I love the idea of allowing the child to independantly do the morning routine, as we mommies tend to want to do everything for our kids! Setting everything up the night before is a wonderful idea, and I think kids really appreciate order. Thanks for sharing this experience!
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I meant to add, however, that I think the morning plan is a fabulous idea, and have recently started something quite similar with my six-year-old and four-year-old to make our morning process more independent.
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I'm sorry, but I don't think it's okay for a six-year-old to speak to her mother that way regardless of the circumstances. There is one of two problems here--either she's mirroring behavior (or, more importantly, tone of voice) that she's spoken to in, or she's just testing the limits, in which case it's okay to explain to her (although NOT to yell at her) that it's disrespectful to speak to a grown-up in that manner, and let her know what would have been acceptable for her to say. I have a six-year-old, and I'd like him to respect the adults in his life.
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