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April 4, 2008

A Good Morning Plan

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"Mama, may I please have Rice Krispies for breakfast?" Grace, 6, says as she sits at the breakfast bar.

"Sure," I say, as I fetch them from the pantry, pour them in the bowl and add the milk. She interrupts me, mid-stream.

"No, no. Chocolate milk, please," she says.

I add some chocolate syrup, mix it up just right and carry on a breakfast routine that I can only refer to as "service mode for Mama." Pour the juice, in the right cup, with the pink curly straw, retrieve dropped items, provide napkins, replenish juice -- all while keeping one eye on the clock.

Feeling like a waiter serving the food critic for the New York Times, I get flustered and knock a glass to the floor where it shatters. Typically no big deal, but when Grace harshly admonishes me with,"Mama, you really need to be more careful. Luke could cut his foot!"

I lost it.

Let's just say that I firmly, and loudly, let Grace know how unappreciated her bossiness was. To which she responded innocently, her eyes shimmering with tears, "Mama, I'm sorry."

I was crushed. And it was then that I realized it was I who owed her the apology -- not only for the Joan Crawford moment I'd just indulged in -- but for directing my frustration at her when all she was doing was playing a part I'd assigned.

We had begun first grade strong -- going to bed early, allowing time for a well-paced morning, planning well the night before. But I'd gotten lazy and given in to the age-old, "It's faster if I just do it myself" mentality which is the slippery parenting slope that never leads to a soft landing.

With Grace off to school, I tried to unburden the morning guilt by confessing to some friends and asking for help. Buoyed by their empathy and great suggestions, I resolved to get back to basics and type up a "Good Morning Plan."

Ours looks like this:

  • Pack backpack and snack the night before.
  • Select clothing. No morning wardrobe changes! (With a fun wardrobe craft we got inspired to plan a week's wardrobe at a time.)
  • Lights out 15 minutes earlier (for me too).
  • Always kiss me goodnight.
  • Go to sleep with a promise to wake up with a grateful heart (or at least try).
  • Always kiss me good morning.
  • Self-serve breakfast, planned the night before. Cereal, frozen waffles, and fruit, are all stored on lower shelves within Grace's reach.
  • Eat-brush-brush-dress.
  • Always kiss me goodbye.

    I still struggle with not wanting to jump in and speed things up occasionally, and there's often a spill to clean up. But messy floors are far easier to clean up than tears and messy morning drama.

    What are mornings like in your household? How do you try to make your routines easier? Click the comments link below to find and share ideas.

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