Review: Unaccompanied Minors
Rated by 1 member
What Parents Should Know
Parents need to know that although this film is relentlessly
dumb, kids -- especially those who like slapstick violence and
watching other kids outsmart adults -- will probably want to
see it. (That said, during one preview screening, after about
30 minutes, a 6- or 7-year-old asked his mother if they could
please go home.) The stranded kids misbehave both with and
without adult supervision, throwing candy and toys, destroying
furniture, and piling on top of the man assigned to watch them.
They order food they can't pay for, steal a motorized cart,
steal items from abandoned luggage, let loose a caged dog,
sneak out of the airport, and watch as adults fall, crash, and
rage (a chase on sleds/rafts leads to a crash and one man's
bloody and bruised face). An aunt drinks herself into
unconsciousness (played as comedy), and a boy finds a bra in a
suitcase where he's trapped. Some minor name-calling.
Families can discuss the movie's premise. How realistic is it that something like this could happen? If real kids did get stranded at an airport, do you think they'd act like this? Kids, how would you behave in that situation? What issues are brought up by kids traveling alone, especially during the holidays. What precautions can families take to make sure these trips go off smoothly? And for fun, what sorts of activities can you come up with during a "snow day"?
Common Sense Media Review
Both tedious and hyperactive, UNACCOMPANIED MINORS is also a
strangely careless movie. Given that it ends up preaching the
value of adults and kids sharing Christmas together, it spends
an awful lot of time showing the extreme incompatibility of the
two species by following a group of kids who, understandably
frustrated at their seeming abandonment on Christmas Eve,
outsmart and abuse any and all adults they meet.
Before they're stranded in a Chicago airport by a blizzard, the core group of "minors" are introduced in a sequence in which each is supposed to sit in a department store Santa's lap, establishing his or her essential characteristic. With his parents divorced, Spencer (Dyllan Christopher) feels responsible for his little sister Katy (Dominique Saldana). Harvard-bound Charlie ( Tyler James Williams) worries about proper behavior and looking smart all the time. Tomboy Donna (Quinn Shephard) hates to be touched (and tends to whomp offenders in the crotch area). Wealthy Grace (Gina Mantegna) tries to act older than she is. And lonely Beef (Brett Kelly) clings to his Aquaman action figure in lieu of a friend.
Horrified by the chaos of the airport's "unaccompanied minors room," these kids start to bond, mainly over Spencer's problem. See, he left Katy in the terrible room, so he spends the rest of the movie trying to bring her a Christmas gift so she won't lose faith in Santa. His efforts are paralleled by those of his father, Sam ( Rob Corddry), who's driving through snow and darkness from Pennsylvania on his way to get them. Their mother, Valerie (Paget Brewster), is less effective, watching TV and worrying back home, as Aunt Judy (Teri Garr, in a cameo) drink herself into a stupor while wearing ornaments and a Santa hat.
As annoying as such silly displays may be, the children's more immediate concern is with their primary adversary, Scroogey airport manager Oliver Porter (Lewis Black), who calls the kids names and makes it his personal mission to make them feel bad ("Are you out of your juice-drinking little minds?").
While Unaccompanied Minors might seem to fall into the kids-running-amok holiday subgenre most famously exemplified by Home Alone , Paul Fieg's movie is a disappointment in several ways. Crass and unimaginative, it's more an assembly of disconnected scenes than a movie with a plot (it's sort of like an elementary school version of Accepted , which also starred Black as the most obnoxious adult in sight).
After they're befriended by Porter's disgruntled employee, Zach ( Wilmer Valderrama), the kids eventually triumph, of course, but you're left wondering just what they've won. And, more importantly, what better use you might have found for your time.
Fans of this type of movie might prefer Home Alone and its several sequels; better yet, watch a movie in which smart children have a truly imaginative adventure -- like The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe .
Common Sense Media is a nonprofit organization dedicated to providing information to help parents make media and entertainment choices for their families.
