What Dad Really Wants
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Dad wants to be remembered
Sometimes Dad gets the shaft. On Mother's Day, Mom gets a bouquet of flowers, a box of fancy chocolates, a sentimental gift that is sure to bring tears to her eyes. But when Father's Day rolls around, it seems poor Dad often ends up with little more than a new tie from the sale rack and a greeting card with a fish on the front of it.
There are plenty of theories to explain why dads get forgotten -- some say it's because fathers traditionally haven't been as involved as moms in the day-to-day lives of their children, while others suggest that dads just aren't sentimental enough to appreciate an outpouring of emotion.
But these days, dads tend to be more involved with their children and are often more emotionally in touch with them. So there's no excuse for not celebrating fathers with the same spirit and thought as we give mom on Mother's Day.
Dad wants to feel appreciated
Despite what you see on the greeting card aisle, there's more to being a dad then wearing ties, going fishing, or playing golf. The best way to show Dad how much you appreciate him is by explaining why you appreciate him.
Sit down with the kids and make a list of all the specific things he does for you, like giving piggy back rides even after he's had a long day at work, skipping the playoffs to watch a piano recital, taking out the garbage when it's really cold outside, or giving a big hug after a scary dream.
Have the kids draw pictures of each of the things you're grateful for, then take them to a local copy store to have them laminated and bound together into a book.
Dad wants to relax
On Mother's Day, Mom enjoys being chauffeured from a champagne brunch to an afternoon massage to a fancy dinner. On Father's Day, Dad probably wants…to be left alone.
Well, not totally alone. He just wants to be free from the stresses of his life -- ringing phones, stacks of bills, work e-mails, and quite possibly, the complications of an elaborate family celebration.
Instead of making a fuss over Dad in the same way you would for Mom, put some thought into it and plan a day he would enjoy. Not into fancy meals? Take him to his favorite ribs joint and pledge not to mention his cholesterol. Or let him sit on the couch all day watching sports while the kids put together a hotdog buffet with all his favorite toppings.
Dad wants to feel special
Father's Day isn't just about honoring fatherhood; it's about celebrating Dad himself. To make him feel special, help the kids put together a biography of his life.
Start out with a basic family tree and then create a simple timeline of the high points of his life, including birth, siblings, schooling, jobs, marriage, and the birth of his own children. Plot the timeline out over several pieces of construction paper, then add old family photos, letters, awards, and mementos. Also include questions the children have about things that have happened in his life.
Set time aside on Father's Day to present the book to dad -- be sure to spend time going through it page by page, so the kids can ask him questions about his life and add the answers to the book.
Dad wants to know you love him
As simple as it sounds, the gift of love is the one he'll treasure the most. Even if you tell Dad you love him every day, you can always find a more unique way to get the point across.
If your kids are young, a recording of their little voices might do the trick. Set up a tape recorder or digital recorder in a quiet space, then start a conversation about Daddy. Prompt the kids to share their feelings by asking them questions: What do you love most about Dad? How does Daddy make you laugh? What has Dad taught you? Why do you think he's a good father?
It may be more difficult to get older kids to share their feelings verbally, so ask them to put their thoughts on paper using similar questions. You may even get them to open up with more challenging questions: Why do you think Dad is tough on you? How do you think you are like Dad?
In the end, the questions themselves don't matter that much -- Dad's real gift is in knowing that his children care.
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