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On "All Things Considered" this afternoon, Melissa Block interviewed Clay Violand, who was in class when Seung-hui Cho entered the room and started shooting. Clay dove under a desk and survived. In the interview, Violand talks about how he maintained eye contact with the girl next to him, trying to "stay human."

That phrase hit me in my gut.

You see, I am a survivor too. Shortly before I turned 21, four men kidnapped me from my campus and spent the night raping me. They eventually let me go. I reported it the police, who caught them. They were convicted and went to prison.

But I vividly remember my feeling while it was happening, although I couldn't have named it until now. Clay Violand nailed it: staying human. I clung to the thought that this horror would end. Believing that helped keep the deep, deep fear from turning me into an animal.

Clay also talked about his certainty that he was about to die. I remember that feeling. At one point, one of the men said something - I forget what - and I knew I was going to die. It was blunt, but it was strangely freeing. I was no longer afraid; in fact, a feeling of peace descended on me, laced with sadness for my family.

Clay's made an appointment with a counselor. He's staying in Blacksburg; he wants to deal with this, get through it, and move on. He's right; that's what you do. You move on.

You stay human.