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they may look the same, but they have very different needs

Lately, I find myself torn between my two kids.  I mean, there's always been the "now I have a second baby and my oldest gets less time than he used to" that nagged in my head, but it wasn't such a big deal.  More recently, it's become an issue because of the specific age stages that they are each in.

My oldest has recently become more advanced with his playing.  He wants to play board games and participate in interactive projects that he often wants me to be a part of.  It's sweet and I love that he's graduating onto "bigger toy play" but it's clashing with my toddler's playing needs.  My toddler also wants to interact more - he loves to chase his older brother around and play peekaboo.  And he also always, always wants to be a part of whatever big brother is doing.

In other words, if big brother's playing with his new Playmobil toys, toddler wants to play too (and in the process, eat the pieces and mess up the set-up that my oldest has worked so hard to build).  Or if big brother wants to build his marble run, forget it.  The run gets toppled over quickly and the marbles look tasty to little 14-month-olds.

Just yesterday, my oldest asked me to play a game of I Spy Bingo.  I set it up on the kitchen table so my toddler couldn't reach for it.  We started playing and toddler wandered over.  He started pointing and grunting at the Bingo pieces.  Round, red and cardboard, they're all too appealing to him.  So he started stomping and screaming when we wouldn't give him one.  And then he started trying to bang and pull at the bingo cards - frustrating big brother, frustrating himself.  And of course then I tried to find a toy to distract him and keep him happy to, at which point he needed more attention from me.  So my 4-year-old was left sitting alone and moping because he wanted me playing with him. 

Sometimes, I feel as though I don't have enough hands or enough of me to go around. I desperately want to give them both the attention they crave but the fact is, I'm one Mom with two kids and I have to split my time -- especially when they are two children at much different stages in their lives. 

When my oldest is in preschool, that at least gives me time with toddler to give him some special time - but my poor four year old doesn't really get that unless my husband's around to watch the toddler.  But I'm certainly making an effort during those times to have some special time just with my 4 year old. But it's a conscious effort and requires some time management on my part.

I admire those Moms out there with more children than two - I can only imagine the juggling act that entails!