It's 10:00 p.m., and Larkin and I are in a restaurant, having a scene. I'm tired and hungry and trying to eat... but she won't let it happen. She pushes her plate of chicken fingers away. She lies down in the booth, dives under the table. I plead: Can you please behave? But things get worse.

She spills her lemonade. Sends the salt and pepper caddy crashing to the floor. Whines and wails for ice cream. The scene ends with me tossing a few bills on the table and hustling her out -- clamped beneath my arm and kicking furiously. On the sidewalk I rant, "Can't we just eat dinner for 15 minutes in peace? You said you wanted to go here, right?"

Is this scenario painfully familiar? An article in the New York Times, "Shouting is the New Spanking," describes the epidemic of "losing it" among American parents. Once we stopped spanking our children, the article argues, we had… Read More

Three of my best friends sent their daughters off to college recently. I sent mine off to pre-K-3. Molly and I weren't sure how it would go. Months back, when we enrolled her at our neighborhood public school, just three doors down from us, Larkin liked the idea. "What's happening in September?" we'd ask, and she'd chorus: "I'm going to school!"

We knew it couldn't be that simple. I recalled her initial miseries at the kiddie room at my gym:… Read More

Posted Friday, August 7, 2009

Becoming a father at my age -- I call it "late-onset fatherhood"-- has its trade offs. You're wiser... but wearier. Physically, 2009 has been a rough year for the late-onset dad. Partway through a dismal season of rec-league basketball, I began to notice that my left hip ached after every game. I took Advil, cut my playing down to once a week. After the season ended, I gave my body a 10-week rest, no running, no… Read More

Posted Monday, June 29, 2009

When it comes to figuring out life with a toddler, parents tend to be either Read-Up-On-It types or Follow-Your-Common sense types. Sophie, the friendly Polish woman who cuts my hair, is a common senser. Sitting in her chair, I'll tell her about the latest issue with Larkin that Molly and I are trying to hash out. Maybe I'll mention an article I read; I'll sum up the pros and cons of this or that policy. What… Read More

I read a cover story in the New York Times Magazine about a 10-year-old basketball prodigy already receiving the attention of college recruiters, marketers, and coaches. The article gave an astonishing and perplexing glimpse into the world of ultra-competitive youth basketball, in which kids play on multiple teams, flying around the country and staying in hotels, while receiving all sorts of free swag from athletic goods companies. It's all about being a future "prospect." Two 10-year-old hoop stars have already been… Read More

Posted January 7, 2009

By Christmas we'd had every kind of weather here: two walloping snowstorms; a balmy 60-degree day of respite; a drenching rain; then deep freeze again. Icicles hung from our roof, giant stalactites that let loose in thundering avalanches, waking us in the night with a sense of dread.

That's not all that woke us in the night. Three nights running, circa 2 a.m., Molly and I sat bolt upright in bed as Larkin shouted hysterical complaints… Read More