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"Clean your room!" "Make your bed!" "Where is your permission slip for the field trip?" "Did you take your shower?" "Why isn't your homework done?" "Get up when your alarm goes off!"

Does anyone else out there feel like a broken record of complaints aimed at her cowering children? My husband and I often find ourselves in the quandary of 'how much is too much'? We teeter along that ever-so-fine line of parenting, forever wondering if we are too hard on our children, particularly our youngest who would lose her head if it weren't for the lucky fact that it's attached to her neck. And please don't misunderstand. This child is "off-the-charts" intelligent and mostly delightful to be around.

However, when it comes to getting things done when she's supposed to, everything seems to turn into a fire at the last second. Now, my Big Strong Man is analytical, organized and extremely practical by nature. So, it should come as no surprise to me that she gets this flakiness from her writer mother (creative, disorganized and forever putting off today what could feasibly be done tomorrow). Am I proud that I have passed along this little goldmine of a trait to my Teen in Line? Certainly not. But it is what it is. And the fact of it is that there is still hope for her at the tender young age of 13. She can change. Her spots have not completely developed, while mine are clearly visible to all, and much as I try, I am what I am. This leopard ain't changing her spots, but surely there is hope for my kid.

So, if we can help her to become more organized, shouldn't we try?

My husband and I agree that overall, this is a great kid, and we are extremely fortunate and blessed to have her in our lives. The last thing we want to do is to break her spirit. On the other hand, when we let her get away with not doing her chores because she conveniently "forgot" (again) or "didn't have time", is that fair to her sister, who is toeing the line every step of the way? Isn't that promoting a double standard? There's only so much gentle prodding you can do. After a while it becomes exasperated prodding and eventually deteriorates into grouchy yelling. And trust me. That's not fun for anyone.

The trouble comes when it feels like we're just constantly nagging her. She makes outstanding grades. She doesn't get into trouble...not real trouble. She just drives her other family members a little crazy at times. When does the nagging become something that will lead to expensive therapy later? Should I start the fund now? And doesn't everyone wind up blaming their mother for everything anyway?