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What Not to Wear

Recently, my daughter asked to go to her second concert ever. You can read about her first concert experience at my other blog. The first concert exposure was a true leap of faith on our part as parents because a friend's young adult cousin had offered to take Princess in Waiting and her two girlfriends to this all-day summer outdoor concert. I worried off and on the entire day and really struggled with whether or not we had made the right choice in letting her go at all at the tender young age of 15.

Now 16 and even driving, Princess in Waiting asked very respectfully if she could go to the Regina Spektor concert. If you don't know her music, click on this link to familiarize yourself. Generally speaking, she's not all that mainstream - - yet, though she does have a couple of hits now on the radio, including "On the Radio" (strangely enough!) and "Fidelity ". I'm fairly impressed that my daughter and her friend are interested in this young woman's music. She moved here from Russia when she was nine, writes all of her own music and accompanies herself on the piano and sometimes even guitar and drums.

By now, you've probably guessed that we decided to let our daughter go to the concert and that I went along for the ride.

Let's just square this away from the start. I am a total loser. Never in my adult life have I felt it more than at this concert. Now, I should have been prepared for the reality that my daughter and her friend would ditch me as soon as humanly possible, but I wouldn't have guessed how that would affect a 42 year old, self-confident, educated woman! Here, I give you my notes to self that I came away with. I even voicemailed myself, so I wouldn't forget any of these little gems (see, I told you I was a major dweeb...).

Notes to Self for Next Humiliating Concert Experience with Teenage Daughter

• Refuse to stand for the entire concert - That is to say, take a seat with the other intelligent adults in the house. Let the young bloods stand in the mosh pit if they want to. That's what cell phones are for. If they get into trouble, they can call you to flee to their aid.
• Wear a short-sleeved shirt, and make it one that you don't mind leaving in the garage when you arrive back home. It's going to stink to high heaven from all the smoke. No, there wasn't smoking aloud in the concert hall. That didn't seem to matter.
• Do not dress up. Period. Grunge is where it's at.
• Leave your chic pointy-toed slings in your closet, idiot. High- or low-tops are the order of the day anyway, and you will be far more comfortable.
• If your hair isn't long, you are hopelessly out of style - unless it is very short and dyed in some color of the rainbow. Period.
• Prior to the concert, you should imbibe. This way, you won't be like "Hands" from Boston Legal, looking like a total misfit no matter what you do. (Get your husband to drive you...)
• Take along another adult friend to share in your misery. There's no use going it alone, sister. The looks of pity that I received...can't even begin to count them.
• Steel yourself for the language and the drug references. (First words out of the opening act's mouth: "Oh, cool. I'm high." Nice.)
• Note that things that used to be hilarious are no longer even remotely amusing now seen through the eyes of a parent of a teen. Sad but true. (Yes, lyrics like "Someone's blank to one of my songs next door," repeated over and over are somewhat disturbing when you know that your kids are in the house.)

Now, in my defense, it should be noted here that my daughter has stated recently that if ShopandTell made a t-shirt that said "My Mom is Cool" (which my daughter knows is just the sort of thing ShopandTell would do...), she'd buy one. I'm not sure whether to be honored or scared by that.

I'm not sure, but I may have more to share on this. For now, just know that my "dweebdom" is secure. I think I'm craving the "My Mom is Cool" shirt, and that is just sad. Really.