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"Fake Baking" to the Rescue!

"Desperate" seems to be my middle name lately. Earlier, I wrote to you about desperation dinners. Well, today I write to you about yet another desperate situation I recently found myself in. Please allow me to lay the scene...

My family, like many around our great country it seems, has been in the throes of illness these past few weeks. I can't seem to keep the family well. One of us recovers from a bout of illness, and another is down for the count. And so it goes. I have missed more days of work, ensuring that no child of mine is home alone with the stomach flu than I care to admit.

So, last week, when I was dutifully cleaning out old emails at work, I found this one:

"Hey, just a reminder that you agreed to bring 2 dozen cookies for VIP day at school on Monday, blah, blah, blah."

A quick check of my calendar revealed that the day had arrived, and I had not baked my required 2 dozen cookies for VIP day. Loser Mom Alert! Aggghhhh! I then checked my watch. 11:15 am. Thinking fast, I called the school to find out what time my cookies were supposed to be there. By noon.

I am very fortunate to be in a part-time job situation with very flexible hours and a good-natured boss. As long as I get what I have to get done when it needs to be done, I am OK. I popped my head into her office to let her know my plan (leave, get my cookies done and get to our 12:30 meeting in time...).

And we're off!

Now, for any of you stupid naive enough to believe that store bought cookies are good enough for an event at your school, take the advice of a seasoned veteran: Listen and learn, grasshopper. Listen and learn.

There is a ton of advice on this subject at my other blog, White Trash Mom (don't let the name fool you...I'm talking sage advice). The Muffies of the world will eat you for lunch if you bring your store bought goodies for VIP Day (fancy name for Grandparents/Special Guest Day when the kids take pride in bringing a special guest to the school once a year). When asked to bring cookies, "they" mean Homemade, and that's Homemade with a capital 'H", my friends. No substitutes.

Now, having said that, can you cheat? Abso-frickin-lutely! And that's exactly what I did! (Go here to the WTM site for the funny story about my initial lame attempts...I curse Betty Crocker and the horse she road in on, I can tell you that...). In the end, though, I brought the cookies shown in the picture above. The teacher and even some of the 8th graders "oohed" and "ahhed" when I waltzed in with them, albeit 4 minutes late. And yes, I did cheat. (You're darn right I did! I had no choice!) But I did it the White Trash Mom way. And yes, every single last one of them was eaten, while the homemade (for real) chocolate chippers had leftovers, and so did the blonde brownies. And almost all of the store-bought (What self-respecting parent brought those?...Just kidding!) Chips Ahoy sat in the sorry package in which they were brought.

Moral of the story? Well, I guess the real moral here is that kids will eat anything (since mine were technically not homemade by ME). However, I will still caution you that if you sign up to bring treats to school, it's best to bring something that either:

1. You made yourself
2. Looks like you made it
3. Looks like your kid made it

You really are safe with any of the above because they all give the appearance of time. And campers, as sad as that is, it's the name of the game. Call me shallow, but there are those who will judge you and your little cherubs based on that. As they say, it is what it is. My 'fake bake" cookies got rave reviews. I have used this tried and true method in a pinch many times over the years. Much as I love to bake (and I really do), when I forget a volunteer detail (and I do!), it's far better to do the "fake bake" routine than show up with crummy store bought cookies.

For detailed instructions on how to pull this off with flare, follow this link.